Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

I'm not sure I want to dance with you anymore

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Anonymous:
Hi Wilflower,

Go girl, and make that therapist earn their money. No glibe, easy for you responses accepted, thankyou Mr/Mrs Therapist. We want results here, or you're fired!

Guest.

Anonymous:
wildflower,

Don't worry about writing long posts. This is a complicated story.

Now I see how your mother is replicating what her mother did. I guess she also sees the resemblance, but it might not stop her from pulling this stuff anyway. Old habits die hard.

I think the main thing is to decide which items you can help her with. She is accustomed to being bailed out but you've started giving her a reality check on that.

bunny

Anonymous:
Hi everyone,

You guys are so great and understanding.  I wish I could hug all of you!  :)

Turns out I needed to crash, big time, today.  This is the first full day I've had since Friday where I've felt my mom is relatively safe, and I was feeling overwhelmingly guilty about the phone conversation I'd had with her on Saturday.  It killed me to yell at my mother the way I did and as much as I did, but my therapist has helped me understand that I was terrified, and even though I was yelling, what I yelling was the right thing for someone who's contemplating suicide.

She also reinforced everything that you guys have been telling me which is that the hard thing for me now is going to be to find a way to be compassionate while setting up boundaries and letting go.  I think the last two days have been a good first step in that direction, but it's definitely going to be hard.

Time to rest for a while....

Wildflower

Wildflower:
Hi Rosencrantz,

I just wanted to say that I've always been one to face a challenge, so when I saw the word "codependence", I immediately zeroed in on it and took it in as a question to ask myself.  It stung, but I chose to sting myself, is I guess how you could put it.  But no, I see that you didn't say I was, so I'm sorry I worded it that way.

Wildflower

And that was me above  :wink:

Wildflower:
Hi, Jacmac.

Thanks for chiming in.

I'd have been so furious if I had been in your shoes first when your mother flippantly called your father a pervert, as if that explains things, only to follow that by completely changing history by denying any knowledge of it.   :evil:  That's exactly the kind of inconsistency that makes me completely batty.  I'm glad you've been able to distance yourself from that, though, and I hope I have as much success as you have in finding out where the limits are between me and my mom.

Wildflower

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