A friend of mine recently got the job of her dreams. And the reality of getting that job....is that it is the job of her dreams. It is a very good place for her to be. But since she got it, she hasn't felt well. She worried about that. But I bet she wasn't feeling well all along. It's just that the bad previous job was so bad it was a distraction from what was going on in her body and heart. That distraction is now gone. So, she doesn't feel so good. But that is okay. I think it means she is now ready for the next step in her life, the next part of the journey. At any rate, she now has an opportunity to take the next step.
It sounds like in your case, that bad previous job might have distracted you from some things. Those things are still going on and now it's kind of in your face.
To me, it is very important to be kind to yourself because you do work full-time and you care for your mother in the evenings. Sounds so quiet. But those are two pretty big things going on in your life right now. I remember when my life was similar to that I finally came to the conclusion that the only thing I should aim for each day was to get out of bed. Everything else was bonus. And I did that 365 times that year. So, that was a great year if you ask me. 365 successes in a row. Plus, all the bonuses. I don't think I had ever been that successful before (when I always thought of success as being rich or happy or busy or easy). And that kind of thinking did get me through a very rough patch. Now that it is over with, I can hardly believe I made myself do any of it. Maybe it was the switch in thinking that made it slightly bearable.
(((((((((((((((((Hopsy)))))))))))))))))))
Love, Pennyplant