Community & Online Support Groups .... interesting read

[Leah]

Thinking of Joining?

Before joining a group, consider spending a few hours looking back through the group's archives. That should give you a good feel for the way members are treated.


Then ask yourself:

Is the group generally happy and supportive? Does it give off a good vibe?

Are newcomers welcomed warmly, or snapped at for asking boring 'newbie' questions?

Is there an in-group or a guru figure dominating all discussion?
 
Does the site appear to be biased?

Is anyone criticising the quality of information provided by the group? Or challenging the integrity of the group itself?

Are people who express unorthodox views attacked or ridiculed, perhaps even banned outright.

Is the group being whipped into an emotional turmoil by an attention-seeking member, who posts about unbelievably bizarre health dramas or highly improbable accidents (Feldman, 2000; Feldman, 2004).

The group is dividing into warring factions and members are being pressed to take sides. Anyone who tries to stay neutral is cold-shouldered.

You find yourself getting upset by posts, or by private messages from other members.

These days, the group seems more aggressive, and you are not happy with the change.

When checking for messages, you sometimes feel a sense of unease, perhaps even dread. When replying, you feel as if you're walking on eggshells.

Is there a high turn-over of members? If yes, can you see any obvious and worrying reason for this?

Do departing members sound angry or disillusioned?

If someone takes offence, does the list-owner or a moderator step in quickly to calm things down?

Do you feel that the members are being 'babied' emotionally? Would you be happier with a more impersonal approach?

Do most of the members seem the kind of people you'd be happy chatting with?


If the signs aren't promising, it's best to keep searching.  If the group sounds right, then dive in and make yourself at home!



References:
 
Beder, J. (2005): Cybersolace: Technology Built on Emotion. Social Work, Vol. 50 Issue 4, 355-358
Silver, M. (2004): E-Comfort, Online Help. U.S. News & World Report, 4/5/2004, Vol. 136 Issue 11, 64
White, B.J., Madara, E.J., Editors (2002): The Self-Help Group Sourcebook: Your Guide to Community & Online Support Groups. Denville, American Self-Help Group Clearinghouse

[Lupita]

Hi Lea, this sounds very interesting. Where can we look for groups? I would love to find live chats also. It is lonely to come to an empty home everyday. Thank you for your help.
Lupita

[Leah]

Hi Lupita,

Understand what you say regarding come home to an empty house as I too live alone now.  Really don't know what to suggest regarding 'groups' and 'chat rooms' though having read up considerably on the dangers and pitfalls of some, i feel that one would need to be cautious, test the water and see.

Personally, I don't want to engage in several forums and don't feel a need for chat rooms as I looked on one and the rate of text hammering away on screen sent my eyes rolling  in the back of my head !!! 

The only other forum I have joined, recently, as someone here on 'voicelessness' kindly mentioned it in her posting .........

http://www.christiansurvivors.com/forums/  "An active community for survivors of all types of abuse. Our aim is to bring friendship and support to survivors in need, and ultimately to help one another come to a place of healing in our lives!
Centered around a well moderated message board. five year old, & thriving community of survivors - all seeking to support each other through the realities of daily living as a survivor!""

There are several boards including 2 levels of 'support' boards, 'chat and share' board, 'inspirations' board, 'affirmations' board and a 'creativity' board!!

Hope that helps.

Leah xx

[Lupita]

When checking for messages, you sometimes feel a sense of unease, perhaps even dread. When replying, you feel as if you're walking on eggshells.

Dear Lea, me too. I am so afraid to change foot each time I open my mouth. I am afraid to find something bad. Old anxiety. It is a major accomplishment to say positive things. Been megative all my life. But I discovered that by saying it, I feel a little better. Hopefully, ti will change gradually if I continue. But I have suffered so much regection in my life that it feels stressful to read the posts and think that I might find something hurtful.

Thank you for the information. I will look into it tomorrow.

Love
Lupita

[Lupita]

Dear Lea, I went to the site and all the forums are lucked. What can I do?

[Leah]

Dear Lupita,

First thing you need to do is Register as a New Member

Leah xx