Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

"voicelessness" makes sense.

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sgirl:
Thanks again for the suggestions!  The key is definitely to focus on the other person, and to take the focus off yourself.  I'm not always really self-conscious, but it certain situations, I definitely am.  For instance, if I feel I'm talking to someone more intelligent than me, or more attractive than me, I totally freeze.  It takes me quite a while to get comfortable.  And then I tell myself to stop judging people, AND to stop comparing myself to everyone.  

On a positive note, I really think I'm learning a lot  and making some definite progress.

cj:
Its hard aint it:(. Sometimes I think the factors are irrelevant. Whether its someone having more money, better looks, more intelligence, its all the same bull**t. It all comes to down to one thing, that of being unable to accept ourseves, the way we are, unconditionally.
Its like years ago when I used to (someone niavely, don't laugh!) think, 'oh, I'll go to college and I'll become cleverer, then I'll feel better because I'll be intelligent' (LOL!)....like it was going to somehow wash my freakin soul!!
It never occured to me all these people who never went to university and say weren't as much 'thinkers' seemed quite happy with themselves! Like...what is wrong with this picture??? I didn't realise I was waaaaaay of base in trying to feel good about myself, or even feel 'a sense of...'...come to think of it!!! Its like always grasping at something, anything, to make youself 'better', to make the grade, but its clutching at straws, and so distorted.

sgirl:
I know!  I've done that many times before - usually with me, it's "if I wear such and such an outfit" or, "if I cut my hair like this", I'll be more liked.  It's so stupid.  And childish.

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