Hi to everyone...friends, opposers, etc.
I've been dealing with bronchitis/pneumonia for the past almost 2 weeks. I think I'm finally coming out of the worst of it, right on time to go visit my spiritual Mom whom I miss and love dearly. YAY! I have a doctor's appointment today to see how things are with me.
I'm still running the restaurant with my husband and still taking the Abnormal Psychology class in college. I have a big test today, so please keep me in your prayers and thoughts as I muddle through it all. I'll let ya know how it goes.
I've been reading a few of the posts from here when I have time. Jacmac, sounds like you are feeling very invalidated. It might be time to take a breather from the board...I had to do that when things got pretty heated a while back, after a few people found out where I was, and came and publically flamed me right here in this group. As you can see, I survived it again, came out stronger in the end, and I'm still here.
Regarding a post from way back, about "Do we ever stop loving them?" I want to answer, "NO" I don't think so. I still miss and love the dysfunctional people in my life, but I can tell you all that I know they were not capable of truly loving ME. If they were, they'd still be in my life, working through the issues.
Now, I know one of them would tell you all "I TRIED TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH LAURA, BUT SHE JUST KEPT ATTACKING ME!" The truth is, I DID go through a time when I really just wanted REVENGE on this person. My feelings were mixed up...I could see some good about her, but then the bad things were just too bad to have the good overpower them...if that makes sense. So, I LASHED OUT at her, wanting her to SUFFER the way she caused me to. It was wrong on my part, and yet, when it comes to people who just make no sense, who punish us for things that are wrong with THEM, it MAKES SENSE TO WANT REVENGE.
I guess I'd have to say to you all, that, where I can understand your feelings of wanting the dysfunctional people in your life to PAY, to SUFFER, TO CARE, to at least FEEL some remorse or something...unless the Lord God Almighty gets ahold of them and does a radical thing in them, don't hold your breath. Expect the best, but don't fool yourself into thinking that things DEFINITELY WILL CHANGE...because, with N's, BPD's, etc...that's a LOT to expect or ask!
I am thinking of an appropriate scripture from the BIble here..."UNLESS THE LORD BUILDS THE HOUSE, THEY LABOR IN VAIN WHO BUILD IT." If you think of this in regards to the grandiose, delusional, punishing, self-absorbed people in our lives, it says to me that, unless GOD can REBUILD the receptors that never connected...unless GOD can knock some people off their high-horses and remind them that HE is God...and unless GOD can put a "heart of flesh" where there is a heart of stone in these types of people, all your whining, wishing, hoping, and trying to change them...is in VAIN.
Don't labor in vain...work on yourself, let the dysfunctionals go on to someone else, pray for them, but LET THEM GO...and MOVE ON
~Laura