Hi - Thanks for the replies.
I did wonder why I acted the way I do, but have discovered why now. I truly was (and still am) voiceless. The good thing is that I know that now, and am on the path to gaining a voice.
It is really hard sometimes, though. I'm a grad student, and honestly, sometimes I worry that I spend more time thinking about my appearance, what has happened to me, the breakup, etc., than I do about my schoolwork!
I read the essay about Voiceless people and why they choose the same type of peope in all their relationships and kept saying "that's me, that's me" as I was reading. Like I said in my original post, I CLUNG to every shred of a relationship with this last guy. I made him the sun and the moon. Everyone around me could see what I was doing, and while I knew in the back of my mind that things were not good with us, I refused to believe it.
As a child, I spent a lot of time on my own, due to shyness. I think people didn't know how to deal with me, and so they spoke for me.
One question I do want to ask is, are there any ways of reminding yourself why you're acting the way you are (i.e. worrying about what others think of you, always trying to make an impression on people you think matter) - it's like, the minute I step out the front door, I forget everything the therapist and I have talked about and revert to my old ways. I suppose it's a long process, though.
Thanks again!