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hello and have a great weekend everyone

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pandora:
Hi,

Thought I would just post, say hello, etc.

I have definately decided to divorce N.  Those of you who saw my last posts know some of the questions I was struggling to make this decision.  

He left the country for an extended trip starting last weekend.  I felt better the minute I dropped him off at the airport, although I knew that most likely it was the end of our marriage.  

Since then, while assembling things like financial documents, I have come across evidence that he is more deceptive than I ever imagined.  He has basically been carrying on with ANOTHER woman - not the original OW- in the past few months, even as we were undergoing marriage counseling.  Basically lying to me and the counselor with a straight face.  All the while complaining about how I had withdrawn from him and how I insisted on being a victim.

Completely intolerable and unforgivable.  I am still amazed at the depth and degree of his deception.  I also found out that he lied to me about the extent of his physical relationship with the first OW - something that I was already pretty sure about.  

I had already decided that divorce was my best option, but now I have no doubts at all and no more tormenting myself about whether it is ethical to leave him.   I wrote before that I was looking for signs - well I got them.  When our mutual friends ask why, I will tell it to them straight - infidelity and dishonesty.  No reason for me to protect him.  

I am still in a state of shock, but I am trying to take steps as soon as possible to file for divorce and protect myself financially.  There is a lot of stuff I need to do.   I hope he does not return from his trip early, although I plan to move quickly.   Considering the way he has treated me as his wife, I have no illusions about how he will try to treat me when I try to get a fair settlement.  

So it's not a pretty outcome, and there is no doubt to be lots of shit yet to come.  But I am already free of him in the most important way possible.

I am going out of town with friends for the weekend and trying to make extra efforts to meet friends for dinner, etc.  It is helping me to feel supported.  I hope that all of you can find similar support close by!

The forum is wonderful, it has helped me so much to have your feedback in trying to reach this point.

Peace, Pandora

surf14:
Good luck Pandora and this is a good move!  I'm glad you don't have any more doubts and no reason to lay blame on yourself.  Life is too short!  Time to invest in only healthy people. have a good one!  Surf

Survivor:
Pandora,

Hang in there . . . the best is yet to come!  I feel for you having to go through all of this.  Good for you for not taking it anymore.  Life is short and nobody should be treated that way.

You say you are "still in a state of shock" . . . just keep going right on through that grief cycle.   :shock: Shock is part of it . . . you will get to the other side. :D

Good luck!

Survivor

Anonymous:
pandora,

Good for you!  :P


bunny

Karin:
Hi Pandora,
It sounds like you know that you've made the right decision. That's an important stage.
Good Luck!

Karin

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