Portia: …you walked against everyone else, going your own way, out on your own and I wondered, what if you joined up with other people, let yourself be just another person than someone so tough and strong, carrying the world on your shoulders
This was a comment posted on the ‘Just learn to cope’ thread, but I’m hoping we could talk about this a little more. The idea of being like everyone else, of going with the flow, of being average, has been my lifeline more often than I can say.
Little things like wash on Monday, ironing on Tuesday, packing away seasonal clothes...it took starting with and following accepted traditions to find my own groove, and eventually peace in my own home (I LOVE a clean home, by the way).
My father believes in an elite where people read and think great things, while the rest of the world picks the lint out of their belly buttons. But I see a world of people going to work and being with other people - being social. Being in this world.
My family looks down on sporting events as something for the brain dead masses. I started going to basketball games a couple of years ago, started playing basketball myself a little after that, and now I understand, instinctively, so much more about teamwork - and playing well with others.
My friends are able to say “I don’t know how to handle that,” and “I wish I could help you, but I don’t know how.” And no one threatens them with suicide or criticism or neglect or physical abuse.
What I’m rambling about is an attempt at describing how we, especially ACON’s, have been denied good examples, and in order to heal, we have to seek out our own examples. And for me, common sense and shared wisdom have been enormously helpful – when I’m not resisting them because I come from an abusive family or trying to be a superhero who can take on all the burdens my family can dish out.
Is there a question here? Yes. Some of my former friends used to chide me for wanting to be normal, for “selling out” by wanting the security of a stable income, for wanting to join in the crowd. Has anyone else had this issue banging around in their heads?
Wildflower