For the first time in my life I am....

[WRITE]

ps I think things will change for me over the next weeks and months as I start to make the relationships which fit with the new life I live and especially not be drawn to the men I always am- who always always turn out abusive!

I guess I'm frustrated right now because I feel marginalised and neither place works for me totally...

 

[Gaining Strength]

That is a difficult place to be in.  But if you can wait you may see or notice something that will be instrumental in opening things up for you.  Wait.  Things are getting better but not instantaneously. - GS

Thank you all so much for giving me somewhere to put all this....I really appreciate it.
The venting helps me.  Being heard helps me.  My response is really just a way to say I'm listening and I care rather than a suggestion about what to do.

[WRITE]

if you can wait you may see or notice something that will be instrumental in opening things up for you.  Wait.  Things are getting better but not instantaneously.

thanks dear GS.

With perfect synchronicity I went to B & N last night for hot tea and to read, and there was a $5 journal called 'you're late again, Lord' for writing down those times when it feels like nothing's happening or you are forsaken. It's full of inspiration and quotes, I will use that for my despondency, then I have something to look back on and remind me 'I've felt like this before' and it got better....

 

[Gaining Strength]

Oh my heavens write - there is a whole book by that title.  It must have been turned into a journal.  I found the book 2 or 3 years ago and bought several copies over the internet for $4 each.  It was a charming book that made me laugh and cry and gave me some understanding.  How amazing that you found a journal version.

What a wonderful synchronicity!!  That lifts my heart. - GS