Most of you know that I am a follower of Yahuwshu`a (Jesus), therefore, the way I live my life largely depends on the teachings from the Bible. I'd like to share something from my viewpoint about what the Bible and, therefore God says about LOVE, vs the way N's behave toward those they say they "love."
Bible N Behavior
Love is Patient "I don't understand what is taking you so long to do this
You should already know what I expect of you!"
(expecting you to "read their minds." Not love)
Love is Kind "You'll never amount to anything . I wish you were never born
(resentment, not love)
It does not envy "Can you BELIEVE that lady? She thinks she is really
something in that brand new Corvette!"
(envy, selfishness, begrudging...not love)
It does not boast "You know they will be at the party of course, because
they will surely not want to miss ME, their star-player on
the case!"
(self-centeredness, pompousness but not love)
It is not proud "Sit up straight. You don't want me to look bad. Do you?"
(image-focused, conceit, not love)
It is not rude "Oh, just serve her the potatoes. She has no clue what
she likes or doesn't like to eat."
(assumption, control, dominating, silencing, not love)
It is not self-seeking "Why, they didn't even notice MY new outfit today!"
(conceit, self-centeredness, resentment, not love
It is not easily-angered "Of all the nerve! Why can't you get here on TIME for
once. You are so stupid and I can't trust you at all!"
(impatience, demanding, ridicule, not love)
It keeps no record of wrongs "I still remember how you used to not take a bath. That
was so embarrassing to bring you anywhere! haha!"
(humiliation, belittling, mocking but not love)
It does not delight in evil "Serves you RIGHT for opening your big mouth when I
told you nobody cares what you have to say!"
(blame, shame, vengeance, punishing, not love)
It does not rejoice in lies "I never SAID that and you KNOW it!
(deceitful, discrediting the other person not love)
It does not allow harm "Well, I'm sure the way you dressed had something to
do with Uncle Harold getting all excited from you."
(false accusations, blame, shame, transfer of blame...not love)
It does not distrust "I am not letting you use my stove. You are so clutsy
you'll probably burn the house down!"
(assumption, shaming, distrust, ridicule, not love)
It does not give up "Let your father deal with you. I don't want to see your
face, for what you did today at school!"
(cruelty, abandonment, punishment, not love)
LOVE NEVER FAILS....now, for those raised by dysfunctional people, narcissists, Bpd's, etc. LOVE DID FAIL, because it was not LOVE God's way. True love really doesn't EVER Fail. Your N-"parents" failed you because they never loved you with God's love. Maybe it seems a bit clearer now that I put it in this way? Hope so.
~Laura
Love holds accountable and corrects wrong actions, but it does NOT DESTROY PEOPLE in their IDENTITIES. Let's all consider this, and if you think these things ring bells, forgive whomever hurt you, let them go, leave the situation if you can, and move forward in search of TRUE love, taking risks and venturing to greener grass and better horizons, with prayer, counseling, meds, etc.