<<Then I realized that I am just "bathed" in fear..I just have it over me like a blanket.Also, I have a stomach ache almost all the time This is "fear" in bodily form I think.Honestly, I feel fear, like humidity. It just is inside me and all around me..It feels so heavy and tenacio I decided that I should meditate on the verse "Perfect love casts out fear'. This means that if you can comprehend,in your heart, how much God loves you- then fear will be gone. I am totally desperate. I truly, truly am.
I see that I am alone. I have no family. My husband doesn't really care that much about me. I have two sons who are good, but they are involved in their own lives. I have a best friend,but she has her own issues. I am totally alone. (Maybe, we all are?)So, if I don't get rid of this fear- Who will?>>
Oh, Ami . . . I wish I had words of wisdom . . . all I can do is offer sympathy and understanding and hugs,hugs,hugs.
I have a loving and understanding husband, but I feel very much alone too . . . because you have to have lived through this to be able to really "get" it. I have felt that same fear you've described for so long, but now it has lessened into anxiety. I'm anxious most of the time. I'm so afraid of displeasing ANYONE that I procrastinate and avoid people, and it KILLS me to say no.
But at least we know what we have to work on, right? We know what the issues are, and we can see the dragons we have to slay. That is so much better than being in the dark.
I'll pray for you, dear friend.