Author Topic: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.  (Read 2342 times)

Sheeeva

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Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« on: April 18, 2007, 01:21:55 AM »
I talked to the N who is making my life hell yesterday. Not only has he gotten custody of our little boy, but when I called during court ordered time, he became angry and got on phone to demand that I give him my welfare workers name and number right then and there. I was trying to have a pleasant conversation with my son, so I pleasantly declined his request. He immediately "lost it" and started telling my son that he had to hang up, giving him chores and demanding that he put on his PJs while talking to me. My four year old son, said "I am going to clean and keep talking to you mommy" so he cleaned up with one hand while we talked on the phone. He also started telling my son to tell me not to "call anymore" and all kinds of other stupid crap. I am so worried about my son. Now that my ex has physical custody and there are no more court dates to torture me with. He is resorting to other means to try to hurt me through our son. I am so worried about the effect it will have on our son. I am also worried that he will take out anger on our son, when our son is no longer useful to him, and he sees him as a burden. My ex is super unreliable.  He has also moved our sons bedtime to the same time I am allowed a court ordered call. He has done this just to make it so I cant talk to our son anymore. He is trying to get reaction out of me, and hurt me. I did not show him any hurt or reaction in our last conversation, I think that is why he started to escalate it to having our son tell me not to call. He wants so badly to inflict pain on me, thats why he  took my baby, that I raised by myself, I told him one time that I lived for my children and I would die without them. I told him that the courts destroyed lives and should be avoided. Now he has our little boy, and he doesn't know what to do. He needs me to hurt, he wants me to PAY, and he has told me that several times when I asked him why he was doing this to our family. He always responded with "Your going to PAY now." I guess when I left him for good it was too much for his ego and all this has been designed to make me pay, he is frantic now to get me emotionally, but there are no emotions left for him to elicit, or court dates for him to force me to go to, over the course of two years we had 20 court dates at least before he drove me financially into the ground and i was left without representation and he got custody. I am now going to start recording all my phone calls (I have court order that says i can) to my son and hope I can catch that SOB playing the pain games again, so that I can PROVE to the court that he isn't the wonderful concerned father he pretends to be. I will have ammo for the day when I can afford an attorney again.

teartracks

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2007, 01:32:52 AM »



Sheeeva,

What is happening to you and your son is awful.  I'm so sorry.  Stay strong.  Record him.  Thanks for posting and allowing me to walk with you by way of the board.

tt

pennyplant

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2007, 05:36:55 AM »
Sheeeva,

I'm so glad you have court permission to record these calls.  Your exN will hang himself with his foolishness.  Your son will know how hard you have to work to fight for him and get him back.  It will take what it will take and you can do what it takes.

Love, Pennyplant
"We all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun."
John Lennon

Overcomer

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2007, 07:59:38 AM »
Good for you!  I feel excitement when I read your post!  You did not lose the war only the battle!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Gaining Strength

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2007, 08:03:28 AM »
Sheeva - your strength has grown fourfold since you first posted.  How remarkable that you could stay calm in an anxious situation.  You are living in hell on earth but you are walking through the fire.  Your strength and courage will prevail.  Even though you are hearing the cruelty your husband is pouring out on your son do not believe for one moment that your son suffers because you call.  It is essential that you call so your son knows you are there.  Something is changing even though your son's bedtime has been changed you were able to speak to him.  Don't give up.  You will prevail.  - Gaining Strength

Hopalong

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2007, 11:23:48 AM »
Sheeva,
I felt a jolt of joy when I read that you are recording all these calls.

love
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

debkor

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2007, 03:12:34 PM »
Sheeeva,

Good for you.  Now you know what you are dealing with.  You will not be blindsided any longer and you know what may and may not come.  You stand strong girl.  You have us behind you.  We believe you, we support you.
I have found that in my own situation (which was not a custody battle) but a battle for life, was it paid off to HAVE A BIG MOUTH!, you talk to whoever you have to, you go to counselors, you go to support groups, you let everyone know what is being done and you voice LOUD! CLEAR.  You contact your congressmen, you  make reports everywhere.  You enforce the court order for phone conversation.
 
You  network!!

 But most important you take care of your emotional needs.  This is very tuff on yourself and you need to talk to someone that can help you keep focused. Help you deal with the triggers you ex is trying to bring out in you.
You will be amazed of how many people when you seek help and guidance will know others who know others that can help you.  Open your door to all.
Take care of yourself Sheeeva and be kind to yourself.

Love
Deb

cats paw

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2007, 03:51:30 PM »

  Sending energy to you, and to that tape recorder!

cats paw

James73

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Re: Didn't respond to N!!!!! For the first time.
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2007, 04:33:28 PM »
My God that man is filth and yes record his pathetic and cruel behaviour, in fact it might be a good idea to collect a whole raft of ammunition on him so that you could take it to child services as surely eventually his behaviour will be classed as abuse or bullying. Your son whilst being submitted to this crap sounds like a strong little chap so I'm sure he will be able to resist your ex's evilness for some time, and even if he does get a little tainted we all know that this can be overcome at a later date. Im not sure how this could work but surely a case could be made against your ex on the grounds of mental health problems, i.e. get a test done that could prove he had NPD and that he is an unsuitable parent, if he was proven to have NPD this would also mean that anything he testified to in the previous custody battle would be shown to be inadmissible due to his condition. Just because NPD may not have been proven in court before, Although it might have, doesnt mean that it cant be proven in a future case. How can one prove NPD? seems like those recordings should go a long way to proving it, also you could perhaps meet with people from his past, school,work etc who would be willing to testify in court about his actions which will also prove that he has NPD. Not sure if this is all feasible but it might be worth a shot.
My thoughts are with you and your son
James