One of the most painful things of having X for a friend

[axa]

A.)  They feel guilty about how they treated you and need to do something to soothe their conscience.

After a bout of abuse I would get "lovebombed", not because he was sorry but because somewhere he knew his behaviour was so out of order and wanted to feel better himself

B.)  They want to cause you to think they are back to work things out, when they have no intention of doing so.

This was a major hook for me.  He would act as if he was so insightful and at last seen the light but all he would do was talk and act in the same way again.  IN the beginning I would be fooled by these "insights" but eventually saw that this was nothing other than another abusive behaviour.  Setting me up so that he could knock me down.  I used to listen to him so eagerly believing that things would change.........nothing changed except me.  When I realised the truth of what was going on I would just utter this word in my mind BULLSHIT, because that was all it was.

C.)  They are bored and are using you for entertainment, a dumping ground for their angst and frustrations.

Yes, XN texted some times after I dumped him.  My immediate thought was he must be bored with his supply.  Thankfully I knew that it was not out of concern for me, or any desire to have meaningful contact it was because he was bored/wanted to taunt me with something.  When I did not reply he must have realised that this supply had dried up and that was the end.  Just being used that is what it is all about.



THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

This was exactly my experience.


axa

[reallyME]

Penelope,

It wasn't really a "cry" per se, but it still does hurt once in a while.  X told me we'd be "friends forever" too, and I really wanted to believe that.  I know now that, although she had intentions of that, originally, her defense mechanisms would eventually cause her to mistreat and devalue...and finally replace me with others in her life, whom she told me she was grateful that we "found out that __ was more compatible with her than I was, before it was too late."  Talk about hurtful!

GS, LOL

Hops, yes I do tend to be strong within myself, but that sure doesnt' prevent me from feeling regrets or sorrow over things of course.