Custody Battle with a narcissistic... Cont'd

[kaylebsmommy702]

Tonight when my son got home from his weekend visit with his N Father, he complained of his shoulders hurting. When I inquired into why, he told me his dad threw him on the bed, b/c he was mad that he made a mistake on his homework. He told me that his dad said you are smarter then that- you should be in 1st grade (hes 5 and in Kindergarden). After we finished dinner I took him to childrens hospital to have all of this documented... The doctors said he was ok- that his arms moved ok and just to give him Tylonal if he complains further. I talked to a social worker, and they said they notify the police and childrens services. If he has in fact been abusing our son, then why do I feel kinda bad? Is that the lifelong effects of being involved with an N???? Should I follow up this visit to the hospital with a visit to the police for a report. I feel like this is the only way I am going to make it clear there is really something wrong with him.  I appreciate everyones feedback and look forward to hearing more. Thank you and thank God I found you all!

[Hopalong]

If he has in fact been abusing our son, then why do I feel kinda bad? Is that the lifelong effects of being involved with an N???? Should I follow up this visit to the hospital with a visit to the police for a report. I feel like this is the only way I am going to make it clear there is really something wrong with him.

YES.
YES.
YES.

Please TRUST yourself here...because you are right. Please understand that it is the powerful, healthy mother animal in you that is going to document, report, document, report, and document and report every single incident. This is because MORE than the pull of the habit of obedience to this distorted man, you love your little boy. And you will do anything to protect him, to pull him to safety.

Right?

love to you and your little son, who does not deserve to be "thrown" by his father.

Hopalong

[gratitude28]

You should be proud that you documented everything and took the necessary steps to protect your baby.
You are doing the right thing. I think you feel bad because it is hard to believe that a person can be like that and that you actually married a person that is like that. But you are doing what you need to do to protect your son. Can you limit his visits? I would worry that this could escalate - especially if he feels your son "told on him."

Love, Beth

[mum]

You did the right thing. Follow this up with a police report if you think your son will be ok.
Disconnect, emotionally, from any concern for any one else's opinion about your choice to do this, including what the police may "think".
Disconnect from the reaction your ex will most likely have to this toward you. You do not have to play his game anymore. You make the rules now and it does not involve being "afraid" of him. (Yell that ten times, like a warrior in the mirror each day!!! grrrrr)
If he "retaliates" in any way toward your son, you will have supporting evidence. (again, you will have to know your son will be ok, and you need to make that call).
Your ex will either stop this behavoir, or bury himself with his egoic reactions. Either way, you will ultimately protect your son.

My exN was driving my kids after "happy hour" everyweek. I emailed him telling him to stop (did not accuse him of being drunk, though, as he may not have been), forwarded it to my lawyer as well, and he stopped. He is not stupid.
So let this be your first (or one of many already?) battle cry that you will protect your son to the ends of the earth.
YOU are powerful and loving. An unstoppable combination.
Sending you lots of love and strength.