Is despair the same as depression?

[towrite]

I am so down these days....and scared. I am running out of money, can't get a job b/c I'm too old (we all KNOW there's that glass ceiling out there, but no one will admit it), I can't seem to get a break into real estate. I really don't want to whine or p... and moan, but since that attorney screwed me over so badly, nothing seems to go well. My despair is focused on all the negativity in my life, and which has been going on for several years. To top it off, now I hear the devil attorney is hiring someone to do research for him and that there's a possibility he is going to try to sue ME for reporting him to the state bar on the basis of slander. My god!!! I am terrified.

kate

[teartracks]

((((((((((((((((((((towrite)))))))))))))))))))))))

I have a minute to respond.  I think dispair and depression are sisters.  I think you can feel dispair for short periods and it moves on and won't necessarily  cause depression.  But probably where there is one, the other is lurking and looking for a way in.

I'm wishing sun on your shoulders and peace in your day.

tt

[poetprose]

I don't know that despair is the same as depression....

but it is a key to examining your own thoughts , and perhaps changing the way you are looking at something

[Lupita]

I heard that in moments of despair we need to focus on the solution and not on the problem. What are steps that you can take to come out of the economical problem? Is there something you can do to minimize your expenses? Can you take anxiety medication? Can you consult a counselor?
I heard that we need to find good friedns to be with so we can rest a few moments and not to stay alone. Look for meditaion and trying to relax, if not naturally with medication prescribed by a specialist.
Watch comic movies to laugh is good, to think in positive things, to meditate and to get together with positive people. Sick specialized help and do exercise to get very tired physically at night.
That is what I did when I was very deperate a few months ago. Hope it can help you.
I will put you in my prayers and please, know that we have been there and understand how you feel.
Also come here and post and post and post, can help.
God bless you.
Lupita

[Guest123]

Dear towrite,

So sorry you’re going thru all this junk.

But, think I might have some good news:  I believe it is highly unlikely that your attorney could sue you for slander for allegations you made in a complaint before the state bar. 

Note:  if you made written allegations, it would be defamation, not slander.

Also, if your allegations were made in the context of a complaint against him, I believe you have an “affirmative defense” against against his allegation of slander/defamation because you made them in the context of a “judicial proceeding”.

I am in the legal profession and I did a quick google of  “defense to slander” and this is what I found at http://www.expertlaw.com/library/personal_injury/defamation.html:

What Defenses Are Available To People Accused of Defamation?
The most important defense to an action for defamation is "truth", which is an absolute defense to an action for defamation.
Another defense to defamation actions is "privilege". For example, statements made by witnesses in court, arguments made in court by lawyers, statements by legislators on the floor of the legislature, or by judges while sitting on the bench, are ordinarily privileged, and cannot support a cause of action for defamation, no matter how false or outrageous.

Thus, I would say that any statement, made in good faith, to the state bar re: bad stuff done by your lawyer are “privileged” and therefore, do not constitute slander.

Also, truth is a defense againt an allegation of slander/defamation.

For your peace of mind, google “defense to slander” and you’ll see.  If you’re freaked out, consult your local legal aid office.

Now, re: you’re being a real estate agent (an area in which  I also have experience), here’s my opinion:  If you work very hard and HAVE A POSITIVE “CAN DO” attitude, your age is irrelevant.  It’s not a question of your age, but rather the depth of your knowledge & expertise and your attitude.  Educate yourself on the markets, read books, go to seminars, network and always keep your eye on the prize, which is to “close the deal”.  But, ALWAYS BE ETHICAL.

Good luck.  Wishing you positive self LOVING thoughts and a positive attitude.

Oh, and as for your lawyer: F*CK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guest

[axa]

Towrite,

You sound so overwhelmed by everything.  I don't know if this is any use but when I used to feel like that I would break things down into small steps. 

What can I do something about right now?
What can I do something about today?


All the scary bits flooding into your mind are unmanagable.  Try and stay in the present moment today and give yourself a break from all of this.  Thinking of you so softly,

axa

[towrite]

Ah, Guest123 - that was helpful. The facts are welcome, even opinions based on facts. Axa is right - I am so overwhelmed that scary thoughts are zooming around in my mind. I do need to break things into small manageable pieces. Many thanks.

towrite

[Hopalong]

Towrite, hon...
I had the same fear when I was jobhunting. I had just spent two years growing out my white hair and I'm in my late 50s and I ran smack-dab into ageism in the professional world. For the first time. As a freelancer I was fine but in institutions, I was beginning to feel at a distinct disadvantage.

Just before I left though, I was offered an interview for a job that would've paid more than I've ever made there, but because it was in an office I think of as The Heart of Hypocrisy, and working for a man who'd brought down a close friend...I said no.

Never thought I'd find happiness in a small business. But it's fun.
Don't ever give up.

How about a real estate specialty service, such as helping seniors/retirees compare communities? I think there's a lot of iindustry around senior living...

Hops