I often forget that what I engage in is a process.
(Axa )
I was about to log off when I started looking around for this which caught my eye last week. You have said so much pertinent stuff for me recently!
There seem to be two things I need to keep in mind right now- the ongoing process, and the depersonalisation of emotionally-charged events.
I had an argument with the guy at church, actually I think I was provoked a little, but also he really got me fired up by saying 'you're the Queen of compassion, it's a test of your commitment to that' etc Actually I am paraphrasing, like most emotionally charged conversations I can only remember what I heard, which may not necessarily be what was said!
The interesting thing was how detached I was afterwards though from the usual thing which happens- you know that cycle of 'I shouldn't have reacted/ said that/ WHAT did he say???!' sort-of thing which ends up in feelign shameful and childish....
and I emailed and said what i meant to, and when we met I was courteous and kind. And it was fine.
So many times I have let emotional situations rule,
I have this driven desire to get to the END all the time, complete the thing, have it done.............
probably for this- to get things resolved.
I am learning to sit with lack of resolution and it doesn't unhinge me....
it's the present and that's all there is!
what is, is.
How I react- that's variable.
How I use the process to decide or reinforce stuff about myself- that's essential to being well.
Personal cheerleading indeed if we can learn to do it when everyone else has thrown out the pompoms and ra-ra skirts with our team logo!!!!
