Yes this is an old thread! I think I sound different now.
Condeezi
I’ve thought about death a lot, from when I was very young, and rather intensively recently. I’ve read about what happens when you die from say, starvation, how the body slowly shuts down and what causes eventual death is the lack of energy to take a breath. The action of breathing requires too much effort. By that stage the body has gone through so many changes, shutting down vital organs one by one, that I wonder if the brain is aware at all of what is happening.
I fear suffering, but not the moment of dying. The alternative is to live forever and I would find that idea far more frightening than having a limited life-span.
With children and grandchildren, it’s unlikely that you’ll die alone? I think I might die alone and I suppose I’ve been mentally preparing for that, imagining how etc. I refuse to be afraid of these things now and thinking about certain things, thinking about the real practicalities, helps remove the fear. Fear generally is of the unknown, so I try and make it known, whatever it is.
We’re all isolated (inside our own heads) but we’re all the same in that respect. I think we create meaning by our relationships with each other, with animals, with the physical world. We have the freedom to choose who and what we make relationships with; we choose every moment what we do, how we relate, connect, and that is freedom!
Losing the fears is the key to losing the other negative thoughts and feelings. So
what is frightening about being alone when you die? What are the real fears in there?
Moon
the veil or membrane between my mind and the world is thin I seem to have little distintion between "out there" and" in here".Not sure if this is due to BP or due to an enhanced awareness of how things are interconnected.
I do not feel isolated.I have no trouble being by myself..............I do not know if this is bad or good or neither???????It’s what you want it to be!
what I shoot for in meditation are those little blank spaces of no-thoughtAre you aware of ‘time’ in those spaces? I feel most aware of ‘time’ (of being alive?) when I’m most still. Usually outside, usually at night. The world is and there’s a beating heart.
along with freedom comes responsibility.Everything is balance!
Beth
I’ve asked about your grandmother and death elsewhere but if you want to talk here…
Trust – huge issue! How do we ever get to trust other people and their intentions? By strengthening ourselves / selves and trusting ourselves more and more: when we intimately know and trust our own intentions, then we can trust our judgement of others. Strangely enough, as I come to trust myself more, I expect less from others and therefore find…I don’t need to trust them as such. I sort of accept them for whatever they do and align my own actions accordingly. 100% trust of another person is pretty impossible I think: what if they have a brain injury and change? What if they unknowingly take some psychoactive drug and behave totally differently, where is the trust in ‘them’ then? Everything shifts and changes all the time so trusting ourselves is paramount; even as we continue to shift and change…..what don’t you trust about your relationship with your H?
Or is because you feel that you need him, that you invest so much of your happiness in him, that this makes you vulnerable / exposed and you don’t like that lack of control? He is in control of your happiness?
Write
something strikes me: you have the gift of a healthy 10 year old child and yet you say you live
alone! You have a child who will most probably be at your side when you die, isn’t that important, a comfort?
