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Author Topic: my feelings  (Read 2800 times)

write

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my feelings
« on: April 01, 2004, 11:27:56 PM »
tonight I had a strange moment when I realised I felt vaguely sad ( after the break up of my 20 year marriage )

Not strange because I was feeling sad- but strange because I was just able to be sad and feel it for a while, then let it float away.

I think this is the first time in my life I have felt calm and not overwhelmed by feelings and by other demanding people.

I am in charge of my own life and my own emotions for the first time in 40 years!
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hope4lite

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my feelings
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2004, 11:38:37 PM »
I am glad that you are taking charge of your life.  I know what it is like to be controlled by so many people in one's life.  I grew up with a very controlling Mother, and a little Sister that is the same way.  Then after I left home, I married a very controlling man.  I have been married for 25 years, I love him, but I will not be controlled by anyone.  It took me me a long time to gain some control.  I started to change when I turned 38, they didn't like it.  Some even think I am witchy.  So what!  I have been bullied enough.  

Hang in there write ok?  You will make it.  My older Sis told me I have to do some soul searching.  Same thing happened to her in her 30s.  We are stronger than we think. ;)
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rosencrantz

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my feelings
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2004, 04:40:24 AM »
Some people miss the chaos so that's wonderful to hear.  Thanks for sharing such good (if bitter-sweet) news.  Long may you enjoy this peaceful time.
R
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"No matter how enmeshed a commander becomes in the elaboration of his own
thoughts, it is sometimes necessary to take the enemy into account" Sir Winston Churchill

lynn

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my feelings
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2004, 09:46:16 AM »
Hurray! Good for you!  I bet the calm was wonderful.  Peaceful thoughts go out to you today.
lynn
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write

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my feelings
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2004, 12:39:13 PM »
thanks.

It is good to just 'be'.

One thing I definitely decided- no more caretaking others, only equal reciprocal relationships from now on.
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pandora

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my feelings
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2004, 01:27:19 PM »
Write,

I am happy for you, too!  You deserve peace and happiness, and healthy relationships.

YOU GO, GIRL!!

pandora
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Anonymous

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my feelings
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2004, 09:58:58 PM »
Often when I feel a little sad, I panic... I worry that depression is on my heels, that I have done/ thought something wrong to induce this feeling.
When I am able to just "be"  to allow for saddness, and feel that it's ok.  That's wonderful in a way. There is peace in the middle of it. There is an assurence that it will pass, but it is OK for now.
I am glad for your ability to be in control
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Ishana

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You're wonderful
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2004, 01:11:51 AM »
Write,

What I think is wonderful is that you aren't pressuring yourself into another relationship, but relishing the relationship you are cultivating with yourself, by yourself.  That takes a lot of courage and strength.  I'd love to hear more.

 :)

Ishana
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write

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my feelings
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2004, 08:42:31 AM »
you know Ishana, I actually already met someone who I have very strong feelings for ( and I think he does for me ) and neither of us are ready for a relationship and quickly brushed each other off to pick up later when we're ready!
I wouldn't have known to do that before, last time I was single I rushed headlong into a very difficult relationship.
It really takes time and patience to get to know yourself and to SLOW DOWN!

I feel much more in the flow of natural things now, to say- if it works out that's great, if not oh well, something else will...I think that's due to unpicking all the subconscious things inside my head.
If it doesn't work out it just doesn't work out not the million and one insecurities ( nothing works out/ I'm unloveable/ I'll never have that special relationship/ all men are pigs! etc ) that plagued me until fairly recently.
But I also know that I'm still new to this- and it wouldn't take much to slip back to old destructive negative thought patterns.

I need to be OK alone before I can be OK in a relationship.

This is a nice article on rebound relationships
http://www.relationship-institute.com/freearticles_detail.cfm?article_ID=529
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