Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?

‘Happiness’, delusion, Zen & books

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Portia:
I’ve been pondering my Amazon Wish List (“I must Improve Myself with more reading!” *joke*)

I was wondering if this makes sense to anyone.

Thinking about getting: ‘The Path of the Human Being: Zen Teachings on the Bodhisattva Way’ by Dennis Genpo Merzel and been reading the first few pages at Amazon.com of his other book, ‘The Eye Never Sleeps’. I read these pages, about suffering and attachment (what we think of love is in fact attachment and that love is something different etc) and thinking…
…okay, yes…..do I want to spend any cash here?

Then I went back to reading a review of ‘Stumbling On Happiness’ by Daniel Gilbert and thought about this (from the review here: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/07/books/review/07stossell.html?ex=1304654400&en=9f736b0ee7b820df&ei=5088 )

Interestingly, the clinically depressed seem less susceptible to these basic cognitive errors. For instance, healthy people can be deluded into greater happiness when granted the mere illusion of control over their environment; the clinically depressed recognize the illusion for what it is. All in all, it's yet more evidence that unhappy people have the more accurate view of reality — and that learning how to kid ourselves may be a key to mental health.

And I thought about the two together……that in wanting to read the Zen books, I do feel as though I’m deliberately entering a realm of ‘kidding myself’.

If healthy is deluded, do I want to be happy/healthy? (as defined by other people?)

I’m not so sure! I grew up in a house of lies, so I’ve pursued ‘truth’ or ‘reality’, one way or another.

If looking for the truth means I’m not ‘happy’, because I want to take down the delusions (mine only),…..but then what is happiness anyway?

It’s almost like a ‘cause’ I suppose, and I’m suspicious of people with ‘causes’, including me.
So: maybe I do need in a sense to drop the truth-seeking and try and delude myself into acceptance.

Lalala……of course, what makes me ‘happy’ in my terms is Thinking…trying to get to ‘accuracy’.

unhappy people have the more accurate view of reality – ? I’m not so sure. I’m not so sure the notions of ‘unhappy’ or ‘happy’ are relevant somehow. ?

I want to read about Zen but I resist. Isn’t that what Zen might teach me, to overcome my ego resistance … hmmm……it seems like one big huge contradiction. A question of Zen: if I lose all my preferences, if I lose all sense of desire, black/white and so on:  how do I make any decisions in life?

So……if you see any sense in this, or if you’ve read any of the books I’m looking at….

Certain Hope:
Hi, Portia,

Much of what you've posted here makes sense to me. I hope you don't mind a few rainy-day random thoughts.. a bit choppy, I'm afraid, as I have plenty of distractions here at home.

Yes, I've come to the conclusion that nearly all of what folks consider to be "love" is, in fact, attachment... whether it feeds a lust to control or a perceived need to be defined by another... it's not "love" if it's based on a feeling.

I'm guessing that you're questioning whether to pay the cost for this book because that last statement is "old news" to you?  Are you wondering whether it's true or not? Or are you doubting whether the book can offer you any new insight?

The notion that a perception of "happiness" is based on delusionary thinking (cognitive error?) makes me smile. That entire paragraph from the review you quoted sounds so much like a friend of mine who has, in many ways, embraced her depression as her own version of mental "health".
In her view, everyone else is in denial and/or faking it... she's the only one who sees the world/life/people for what they really are. To me, that's not being a realist... it's simply having made the decision to give up on hope.

From a Christian perspective, that happiness is a shallow, fleeting emotion that's too dependent on circumstances to be lasting, whereas joy is the state of being which one possesses once united to Jesus Christ. A person can be unhappy and yet have joy in her heart... a sense of well-being, despite negative circumstances.

You said, "If healthy is deluded, do I want to be happy/healthy? (as defined by other people?)
I’m not so sure! I grew up in a house of lies, so I’ve pursued ‘truth’ or ‘reality’, one way or another."

I struggle with this one... and I am definitely not so sure... because, ringing in my ears are the words of N -
"We each create our own reality" - and I think, well, yeah - we could take that approach - if we wanted to be just like N.

So no, I don't think anyone should accept another person's definition of health or happiness. Nor do I think that the stuff we expect will make us "happy" can ever truly succeed, because I believe that we were created for relationship - specifically relationship with God - and there is no one on this earth, including we ourselves - who can live up to His image.

Suspicious of causes, including your own? Me, too! I think that's wisdom!

I used to think that "thinking - trying to get accuracy" - was making me "happy" (i.e., giving me some measure of control).
The problem is... I know that I'm too prone to delusion/denial/rationalization/etc. to ever be certain, in and of myself.
A great deal of knowledge and assurance come only by revelation.

And finally... Is that what Zen requires - a loss of all sense of desire, black/white and so on?
If so, I do not believe that's possible, except maybe via some forms of brainwashing techniques or a lobotomy.
Perhaps that's what Zen is? A form of self-brainwashing? Destruction of ego leaving behind only pure... what? Energy?
And how would you ever make a decision? I have no clue! Makes me wonder if that's not what's really at the heart of the whole zen philosophy... a deep desire to avoid being human, with all the frustrations, choices, failings, and potential to fall which accompany being NOT God.

Rain stopped. Time to plant!  :)

Hopalong:
Hi folks,

I think that optimism (learned or innate) = happiness
and that expectations (programmed or acquired) = misery

In that sense, CB, I tilt Zen. Well, Zen crossed w/Norman Vincent Peale. I can't help but think that whatever we repeatedly think to ourselves, barring delusion, is more apt to be something we can accomplish. But I don't believe that affirmations trump actions.

I think it's been my own actions that have drawn me into N orbits and damaged me the most. And my inactions. Meanwhile, I feel as though I've been thinking my brain out for most of my life. Tangible accomplishments? Not so much...

I literally thought too much and experienced too little, because I was isolated. It became a habitual response to depression as an adult. It's interesting to be living back in the room where much of me was formed. Back to childhood, yet not. Same wallpaper.

Could be that on my deathbed someone might ask me, what's something you've learned--the big truth. I might say: I liked that wallpaper.

hugs
Hops

moonlight52:
Hey All ,

I like the wallpaper too.......

Zen is Zen

It does not believe in knowledge
It does not believe in the mind
It is not a philosophy or Religion
It is the total acceptance of ordinary existence

love to you

moonlight

Stormchild:
((((((((((moonlight))))))))))

Good to see you.

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