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Despair vs Survival

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Wildflower:
Hi Guest,


--- Quote ---FEELINGS ARE A CHOICE!! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FEELINGS AND HOW YOU CHOOSE TO FEEL!!
--- End quote ---


I hear what you're saying in terms of it being important to take responsibility for ourselves, but I'm not sure I agree that we have control over how things make us feel.  For instance, I couldn't control how rejected and attacked I felt as a child - though I tried to.  Controlling my feelings only caused them to go down into a deep place to be dealt with later.

But I think we can control how we react to and to some extent, how we internalize, certain words, events, actions.  We can choose to leave a situation that is hurtful to us (like taking a break and getting some fresh air), and we can choose to leave an abusive relationship (though, boy, is that ever tough).  And we can choose not respond to people who we feel are attacking us.

Respectfully,
Wildflower

phoenix:
bye

Anonymous:
Hi Rosencrantz, I seem to have been posting to you all over the board today. Hope you're feeling better. I read some of the responses here and had a few moments to share a few thoughts.

First, I connected with Wildflowers question. Why would I choose your mother? Is she that good at influencing everybody?

Secondly, I admired your open writing and honest communication of what you were feeling in your head and heart. Peeking into your private moment, you allowing us to share that was very human, very connecting. :lol:

Thirdly, don't be ashamed of expressing your true feelings. Isn't that exactly how we all got to be voiceless in the first place? By denying and repressing our feelings I mean.

And lastly Rosencrantz, I don't think our feelings are a choice. I do think that the emotions and actions that follow are, but not our feelings. I agree with the Jungians here. Jung constantly insisted and maintained that our feelings and emotions are separate and different. Language inadequacies and translation created a big misunderstanding. But I base what I believe on this.

Whenever my children feel sad and upset by something I don't try to convince them that their feelings aren't valid. I validate them, cuddle them and talk with them. I look for ways to understand why the 'something' made them feel bad or upset. Then I either agree with them and comfort and support them, or I try to show them my alternative perspective, and cuddle support them and comfort them. I never tell them, stop it, or say what you're feeling is nonsense.

Why things left you feeling suicidal this afternoon is important, and not to be trivialised or repressed or ignored. Haven't we all done too much of that?  :roll: I believe something had this effect on you? It would be good to understand why. Have you worked out why? Yes it's been difficult times here recently, and it's bought some things to the surface for you. Please don't push them back down. Let them rise to surface and explore them if you feel up to it. You made a damn good start here in this thread.

I'd ask anyone who wants to tell Rosencrantz to STOP, to 'Feck Off' (Father Ted). :lol:  Go and participate on another thread. Leave her thread alone. She was shouting at the moon, please give her the freedom to explore her feelings and thoughts here in safety. If you don't like it, go and analyse why you don't. :lol:
How does it go? "Analyse This" (Middle Finger In Raised Position.)

People do care about you Rosencrantz. I'm certainly not telling you what to do, putting any expectations on you, or insist that you continue analysing how you feel. I 99% expect that next time you post you'll be wearing that firm British stiff upper lip and be in control as ever. I'm just saying that if you want to there are warm hearts here that care and are willing to explore with you. Just like you've done with us at different times. Look at some of those beautiful responses you've had here from Wildflower and Pheonix and Karin and know how much you are loved and appreciated.  

Bye for now

Guest

rosencrantz:
Hi - Thanks.  Guest, I think you're wonderful.  I see how you deal with some things here and -!  :)  So cool.  I thought I was finally able to come back here to talk with folk after having worked through some other stuff but I've just seen some more nasty stuff and I've come over all peculiar.  So I won't try just now.  But I'm in a better place this evening.
BFN
R

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