Nmom has destroyed Dad's brain

[Stormchild]

((((((((((NewMe & husband)))))))))) -- glad I could help. Very glad... and even more glad that the directness wasn't off-putting. Hang in there. It sounds like a cliche, but the fact that you and your husband have one another is a big, big plus. Dealing with this stuff completely alone is incredibly hard.

Laura, congratulations! That's terrific! You're heading for freedom [emotionally and in whatever other way God will open to you] at jet speed....

((((((((((Beth))))))))))

unfortunately, no one will be too surprised by anything you post here.

So true, sadly so very very true.

[Stormchild]

apologies for disrupting thread - totally unrelated comment to tayana:

noticed this in your sig line:

http://tayana.blogspot.com

[NewMe]

<<Can I have a ride in the Hummer? LOL

Love, Beth>>


LOL!!!!!
Yes, Yes . . . anytime. And since Stormy said I could have any color I wanted, I vote for hot pink.

[tayana]

apologies for disrupting thread - totally unrelated comment to tayana:

noticed this in your sig line:

http://tayana.blogspot.com

Thanks Storm.

I know what you mean about love with a price tag. I think it's not really love if it's conditional. But I have found other people in my life, mainly my husband and friends, who have given me all the affection and reassurance and support I never had as a child. Thank God for all the good people in the world.

I don't think love is supposed to be conditional.  When you love someone, you love them in spite of their inadequacies, and even when they make mistakes.  I know this, but I still have a hard time believing it.

One of the telling things about my mother's love having a price tag . . . . she never hugs me.  She never says she loves me.  The only things she really does for me are watch my son, and on occasion she will buy me something, usually something I don't want or like.  And if I don't like it then she's offended.  She will do fake nice things, especially for my brother, and then complain about doing them when he leaves.

Hang in there, New.  (((((Hugs))))

[NewMe]

Hugs to you too Tayana!!!!

And I HAVE to tell you how similar my mother is . . . she gives me absolute junk presents, stuff she doesn't want, and I'm supposed to be thrilled by this stuff, and it completely offends her if I don't want to put it up on the wall or display it in the house or wear it.

My mother has also watched my son and daughter on occasion, but that tapered off a lot in the past few years because she started using it as control. For example, if my husband and I tried to go out to a movie, my Dad would call halfway through and tell us to come back right away, because Mom was already tired of looking after the kids. And you can only take my word for it, but they are incredibly sweet and obedient children. 

And you won't believe this: my Nmom actually told me once when she offered to babysit the kids that she was only babysitting so I could get some work done or clean up my house, but she did not want me to have sex with my husband. She was actually trying to control my sex life!

[tayana]

New,

My mom has used my child as a form of control.  He's a very sweet, loving child.  I used to think I didn't like children, but I think that's my nmom's projection on me.  I do like kids.  The other day I was reading about adopting older children, and I was thinking, if I ever meet someone, I think I'd like to do that.  It was almost as bizarre as the thought a few days later, I wouldn't mind having another child someday.  My mom just makes me feel awful whenever I want to do things for myself.  Everytime I've left my son with her to go shopping or do something on my own, she would tell me how awful he was or how tired she was and how he just kept bugging her.  I just stopped doing anything for myself.

And you won't believe this: my Nmom actually told me once when she offered to babysit the kids that she was only babysitting so I could get some work done or clean up my house, but she did not want me to have sex with my husband. She was actually trying to control my sex life!

I can believe it, New!  My mom would do the same thing.  She tells me horror stories about sex.  Off the wall stories that you wouldn't believe.  She's nasty about it too.