Physical Pain and emotions

[lighter]

well my ex has been quite a pill the past week, though the past couple of days i haven't seen him and the days before that he was a bit better, but oh dear how stressful.

I've got almost constant shoulder pain and sinus headache.

In Louise Hay's book she said that sinus pain is indicative of irritation with someone; shoulder pain is feeling unloved or unable to be loved.

I felt kind of sad reading the latter, because I have been both very loved and very unloved simultaneously as an adult.

What do you think about these explanations of illness? Is cancer even a sign of unresolved emotion? Is this a balanced view or just another contributory factor in a larger model?

I'm very familiar with feeling like my brain is burning, of like it's in labor.  I sometimes think it might be due to sinus but it only happens when I'm dealing with feelings of being trapped and frustrated.

About the shoulder pain, I have pain in my left shoulder that makes me worry about a heart attack when I'm terribly angry and pain in my right shoulder, on that big nobby bone that attaches to neck muscle that hold head on shoulders.  It gets a bit swollen and aches and throbs when I'm under intense emotional duress.

I believe our emotions are tied into our physical health in a huge way.  I'm living it and it frightens me terribly. 

As far as cancer?  Our immune systems fight cancer cells and free radicals every minute of every day.  When something happens, be it the increase in toxins from the sun or diet (pesticides from eating Mexican produce, for instance) or our immune systems take dive for whatever reason, (emotional discord, eating too much sugar creating stress on organs to combat the up and down of insulin dumps) perhaps   there's a history of cancer in the family and many members die at age 48 from the same cancer.... then the balance is tipped and our systems just start losing the battle with the cancer cells. 

I believe we can take vitamins, use sunscrean, eat healthy, limit pesticide ingestion and control our emotions so they don't affect our immune systems negatively and still be unable to keep our immunse systems operating well enough to keep cancer from growing out of control. And when cancer grows out of control, the body is starved for nutrition bc the cancer is getting all the calories.  Most cancer patients die of malnutrition. 

That doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to do everything I can to boost my immune system.  I worry about what all this stress is doing to me, almost every day.  Some days I worry about just surviving it.  The pain and physical symptoms, like you have also, frightens me and triggers more fear.  It takes a lot to calm myself back down out of these spirals. 

I'm always amazed when I recover from a bout of terrible physical pain and duress only to discover I skirted longterm physical illness or system collapse.  Amazing to me. 

[Ami]

I had to write on this thread b/c as I have shifts in my thinking, my whole, body is changing.  I faced  a really big truth about my N mother and N ish H last week,  I  am noticing that my eyes are getting much better. Also, before ,I could only eat a handful of food at a time. Sunday, we went out for lunch and I ate the whole lunch. I was so surprised.
   I can really see how diseases are caused by stored up pain. I tried so hard (with diet and exercise) to get rid of my stomach problems. I could not. When my thinking changed, my whole body shifted. It is truly amazing.
    I think that I kept my sickness to keep my "reality "intact. I did not want to face the truths about my N mother. If I stayed sick, then she was still with me( somehow). If I was afraid , she was somehow still with me.
   I don't understand it all,but there was an umbrella of behaviors which kept me "connected to my M.. When I was sick or afraid, I felt like she was there,like I was keeping her alive,somehow .I ,also, thought that if I kept her " alive ",that someday she would come  and make it all right.
  I know that someone must have these ideas. I know that they are not "real" ,but in my mind they were   a kind of comfort and hope. I really do not have a hold on what I am trying to say,but I know that it is a birth of  a big healing                     Love  Ami

[WRITE]

My shoulder pain is back!

But I am exercising a lot and eating very well.

Love to everyone.

[WRITE]

interesting my shoulder pain was completely gone by the end of the relaxing happy weekend, despite slightly uncomfortable sleep and long driving, returned when I got back to the computer and ex within minutes!

Ex tenses me up almost immediately with his disapproval. I was really aware of it last night, we went for dinner and no sooner did we sit down than he was rolling his eyes and telling me 'the trouble with you...'

I fed it back to him and also cut off the conversation with 'it's difficult to spend time with you when you are being negative'.

Computer I am going to try to spend less time on here, also watch posture, this chair isn't right height I don't think.

For the tension think I'll try some yoga exercises.

as I have shifts in my thinking, my whole, body is changing.

I noticed this too this weekend, sometimes I caught sight of myself in an unfamiliar mirror and thought, who is that lively happy woman?!

Hope your healign continues to delight you Ami.

[Ami]

Dear WRITE,
 I am really glad that you looked in the window and saw a lively person. So much of our attractiveness is our spirit which shines through .
  I am sorry that you are being triggered by your ex H. It sounds really hard to detach . I think that it is fear of them ,at some level, that makes us feel so poorly in their presence  . Ask yourself about any fear that you have of him. Also, do you need him to validate or approve of you. ?These might help you to "own" who you are more and to be stronger when he is around.
  I feel much better with my H ,now b/c I am not so hungry for his approval as I used to be   Love   
                                                                                                                                  Ami