Question--New approach

[isittoolate]

Hi Ami
Your opinion is welcomed as well, Ami.

Yes I set myself apart from people (the box) believing I was different. If you have read my response to CB, you might understand better. If not, please do read it, so I don’t have to be redundant in my replies. Thank you.

The Bible is not my way, as it is worse than reading Shakespeare. I don’t understand the convoluted wording. I believe in God and the Golden Rule.

I think I have just reached the point of understanding my own reality, thanks to this Board and my Therapist.
It is great to find a place where one can feel that one belongs there. I felt that at the beginning. You weren’t here. As I finished telling “all my dirty little secrets” I then said to the board, “This generally the point where I would leave a relationship, because I would feel not liked anymore” (something like that.) The board responded with stay, stay! And it was wonderful but it took me a bit to know what to say next, as I had never gone beyond that point before, but I trusted this group.

And yes I trust the Therapist before myself, as well as I trust responses to me, before myself. Well I have learned a lot, as my CB post will say.
Dandylife posted about “limiting beliefs” and I learned more. I see, just now, that if the post is directed right at me, and I learn something, then it is awesome!

I believe that you trust the T more than you trust you. I think that you can learn to trust yourself by first divesting yourself of the belief that you are different.

That is just where I am at right now. I have a new belief regarding my daughter and it has made me feel more positive.

On this Board, no one is alone, as we have had similar experiences, although with some I cannot relate if I haven’t “walked in that person’s shoes”.

It’s true that I was the black sheep of the family, the scapegoat etc. but I didn’t have enough sense to overcome that reality when it was no longer so.

When my Therapist appeared to wonder what to do with me, she put the onus on me to tell her what I expected out of our visits. Now that all the “crap” is behind us, I will ask her to help me with my beliefs (rational or irrational) values, attitudes etc regarding different issues. One thing I value is my privacy. Imagine! (I don’t know why I thought of ‘beliefs’. Maybe God put the word into my head! And maybe I believe more than I realize!)

I am not angry at all, Ami. We each have our stories, and our way of dealing with the wrongs that have been done, “in the name of love”.

Thanks you for you response.
Love
Izzy

[isittoolate]

Hi Ami

Thanks.

I must use my mind more.

I was just getting dressed to go out (It's 1:09 Pacific time) and was thinking about how my belief became "I am different" It was my siblings and their taunts about my body not being right, my hair was the wrong colour, and then, not changing that belief, I was the first to have an illegimate child, then the first to be cracked up in a car crash etc, so the belief hung on.  I was different.

Now my belief will be that "I am a human being with my own issues, just like everyone else"

Am I thinking okay?

Lovve Izzy--on her way out for a bit!

[isittoolate]

Thanks Ami

When I was out, I thought and realized that when I put all the issues first, I was putting me last. That is another thing I will change.
I come first and my problems next.

xx
Izzy

[isittoolate]

Maybe I'll write a book

 "And I thought I was Dfiferent" or  "I was Different" or "What it's like to feel 'Different" or some such...............................