Right, Dandylife! They sure do like to hear themselves talk!
I noticed this one very clearly, as my main associations and involvements with them, was in TEXT ONLINE. They would type and type on and on without usually acknowledging what I said...UNLESS IT WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THEM...then, I'd see em go back to it...like this.
N: I have that important meeting with the chief executive today from our company. I'm pretty sure he was impressed with my last speech and wants to promote me."
Me:
Wow, that's really good.
Did you happen to read that last email I sent to you?"
N:
"Yeah it IS good.
They said that only the HIGHEST RANKING employees will be promoted." (what was good, was NOT your email, but still the promotion possibility for N)
Me: "Well, I really wanted to talk to you about what happened the other day..."
N: "I have all my papers together for my new office they will probably give me. You know how I like to be organized."
Me: "uh huh" (by this time you are starting to notice you are being glossed over)
N: "Wonder if those black pumps would be appropriate for the big day..."
Me: "I really thought it was cruel how my brother just knocked me down when I went to him about the drinking incident."
N: "No, maybe the red pumps with the black purse..."
(now, you are ready to just SHAKE N OUT OF HER SKIN! YOU WANT TO SAY "DA****! LISTEN TO ME AND STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR FRIGGEN SELF ALREADY!")
Me: "Well, you seem to like matching things, so go with the red pumps, red purse."
N: (suddenly realizing you EXIST, cause of course, you mentioned something regarding HER), "oh, ya think so? So you really think the red and red would be the best?..."
Me: "yeah, red and red."
N: "Good. That's what I thought."
Me: "well, my brother said that you told him to get in my face about what I said about his drinking."
N: (suddenly...HARK! I HEARD MY NAME WITH SOMETHING NEGATIVE-SOUNDING ATTACHED TO IT...cannot have that...must protect image...must dispell all doubt about false-self) ..."nooooooooooooooooo girl. now WHY would I do that to you? I can't believe you'd think that! I'm not like that at all. Have I EVER come against you like that? You KNOW that I am the one who will stick right by your side as long as I believe you are in the right. I can't believe you would THINK that about me."
Me: "I didn't think anything. I'm just telling you what he said."
N: "Well, it's obvious you BELIEVED him because otherwise you wouldn't have even SAID anything to me about this. Well, I can't STOP you from believing what you want. I see your mind is made up and I'm the bad guy as usual. So just leave it there."
Me: (rolling eyes, ready to rip my hair out, and SCREAM AS LOUD AS I CAN, something I'd regret later) "I didn't say anything against you! i was JUST TELLING YOU WHAT MY BROTHER TOLD ME!"
N: TOTAL SILENCE (in person, might dissociate and be wearing a frown or a glazed look, showing total "separation" from you, your feelings, etc)
Me: "What's wrong?"
N: "Nothing. Who said anything was wrong?"
Me: "um, ok. Why won't you talk to me about this then?"
N: "About what, girl? We did talk. There's nothing more to say. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?"
Me: "nothing. never mind." (feeling utterly exhausted and drained and FED UP)
N: "ok, gotta go now." (usually this is followed by a catchy saying "love n light" "have a good one" "be blessed" anything to make the N feel like they were the "good one" after just having RIPPED INTO YOU.
Then, they disappear!
POOF! N DISAPPEARS OFFLINE, OFF PHONE, FROM YOUR SIGHT IN PERSON....you now feel like you just were the earpiece of a very ONE-SIDED, ONE-FOCUSED CONVERSATION...you were NOT HEARD, NOT ACKNOWLEDGED and THIS HAS HAPPENED CONSTANTLY!
the ONLY time a true narcissist will answer your questions or respond to your concerns, is if they happen to notice something about THEMSELVES in it OR to appear that they are HELPING YOU, RESCUING YOU, YOUR BEST FRIEND (before the devaluation process that is)
Welcome to the World of the SELF-ABSORBED FOLK. UGH
