They control you by having temper tantrums. THey know you won't stoop to arguing with a SPOILED BRAT, so they feel they've WON.
They cannot "take what they dish out" so they slink off to find easier prey than the one who will try to retaliate.
It's a catch-22 situation, living with a narcissist. Either you allow them to be brats and get away with the lies, or you fight with them almost constantly!
They see communication as a "parasitical" thing. They make sure it remains one-sided and never gives a straight answer. If you try to press them, they will double their efforts to block you. They will be frantic.
The Narcissist gets to ASK all the questions, but really doesn't ANSWER any. They will LIE if you confront them, and will twist things off topic.
Narcissists feel like you are always trying to catch them in a lie.