Hey you two hope your both well, Ami my confidence thing seems to be down to a few things, firstly Setting Boundaries, two being more selfish which sounds strange but a submissive person I feel needs to be more selfish as its not healthy to be submissive to others needs all the time, ive found myself again by facing up to my failings and weaknesses and by correcting them as I see fit and with help from people on here and around me. Also I feel it can be a chemical thing as to why people lose confidence, or that chemicals can improve our confidence, the main chemical im talking about is testosterone. Men obviously have it but women need it too, being overly submissive I feel can lead to mental weakness and despair which in turn may lead to physical imbalance in terms of chemicals. Turning thoughts and needs inwards is a dangerous thing to do and I reckon most people under the control, thrall and dominance of an N will have definate inward thoughts making them become unhappy, depressed and lost. To regain confidence quickly you could try some natural supplements to balance out your chemicals in your body to help soothe the mind and make you physically and mentally sharper, stronger along with more energy and yes aggression. Obviously I dont recommend steroids and they make people go nuts but natural supplements or foods can help to balance out and boost certain chemicals in the body that will make you feel energised and more confident. Again im no doctor and its best to check out stuff for yourself but Ginseng works wonders for me along with Zinc and magnesium, all help to boost testosterone back to normal levels - I feel wonderful, healthier, focused, get better sleep and am generally feeling like my old self with a little aggression on the side which I am learning to control as its a new found feeling. I chuck out old habits that make me depressed and bring in new ones that make me happy. Im in control not my body or anyone else, just lil ol me kicking some booty.
Obiovusly taking supplements or having someone recommend supplements is a dodgy thing on the net so if anyone wants to go this route then thoroughly check it out first, maybe consult a doctor or nutritionist and do some quality research on the net, I have to say though it helps me no end. I had to sort myself out mentally though before I went this route so challenge your inner issues and then you will find you have the motivation to get on with things that improve your life. I also find that my anger at my own past weakness and at letting others walk all over me in pursuit of their selfish goals motivates me no end to succeed in all that I do, it pushes me to keep fit, it pushes me to succeed with my business and it forces me to look at my own shortcomings and the shortcomings of others and to confront them head on when need be.
Also I found that fear ruled my life, fear of living, fear of doing this that and the other, fear of death, fear of others dying, fear of loneliness, fear of loss, fear of succeeding, fear of just about everything. Now whenever I feel fear I stop what Im doing and have a look at the thoughts making me fearful and then I let them go after ive torn them apart rationally and with anger, fight fire with fire, then I can get on with things with no more fear which feels liberating, motivating and pretty good. Ive still got years to go on the fear thing before I kick its butt totally but slowly does it, I’ll get there in the end.
So that’s about it really, I could probably be more coherent and I might have missed things but that’s how Ive got my confidence back although its not all there yet, but thats how Ive made myself feel a lot lot happier and less anxious and fearful.
James
