Author Topic: Hey all  (Read 1770 times)

James73

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Hey all
« on: June 25, 2007, 06:51:21 AM »
Hey guys, just checking in as havent been on for a bit, hope youre all well and fighting the good fight, or should that be holding off and shoving back at the saddo N's  :?  :D No holiday for me CB im afraid just been busy doing this that and oh yeh the other  :P Im feeling quite aggressive at the moment which is why I thought it not a good idea to come on the board as dont wanna upset folk  :? Although im sure you'd all just put me in my place if I got out of hand  :D This aggression I have is making me very confrontational but at the same time very relaxed and secure in my self physically and mentally. Seems to me as though im realigning myself due to my overly submissive nature over these past ten yers or so. So im now letting loose a bit and it feels good, ive had to apologise a few times but hey thats life n that, I can be an idiot but then people can let me in on that fact and alls good in the world again as long as I keep my eyes open and don't turn into an arrogant git. So thats it really, anyone fancy a dust up?  :D  :lol:
James

Ami

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2007, 07:45:45 AM »
Dear James,
    I would love to hear the steps you are taking to being more confident. I could really use it,if you care to                                                                             Love         Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

CB123

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2007, 08:45:30 AM »
Hey James

Oh, we all go through stages of all sorts on the way to getting healthy.  We can probably take yours!  :)

I'm just glad you checked in.  I enjoy hearing your take on things and had missed your swinging sword!

Love
CB
When they are older and telling their own children about their grandmother, they will be able to say that she stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way -- and it surely has not -- she adjusted her sails.  Elizabeth Edwards 2010

lighter

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2007, 09:13:02 AM »
Hi James: ) 

James73

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2007, 09:24:25 AM »
Hey you two hope your both well, Ami my confidence thing seems to be down to a few things, firstly Setting Boundaries, two being more selfish which sounds strange but a submissive person I feel needs to be more selfish as its not healthy to be submissive to others needs all the time, ive found myself again by facing up to my failings and weaknesses and by correcting them as I see fit and with help from people on here and around me. Also I feel it can be a chemical thing as to why people lose confidence, or that chemicals can improve our confidence, the main chemical im talking about is testosterone. Men obviously have it but women need it too, being overly submissive I feel can lead to mental weakness and despair which in turn may lead to physical imbalance in terms of chemicals. Turning thoughts and needs inwards is a dangerous thing to do and I reckon most people under the control, thrall and dominance of an N will have definate inward thoughts making them become unhappy, depressed and lost. To regain confidence quickly you could try some natural supplements to balance out your chemicals in your body to help soothe the mind and make you physically and mentally sharper, stronger along with more energy and yes aggression. Obviously I dont recommend steroids and they make people go nuts but natural supplements or foods can help to balance out and boost certain chemicals in the body that will make you feel energised and more confident. Again im no doctor and its best to check out stuff for yourself but Ginseng works wonders for me along with Zinc and magnesium, all help to boost testosterone back to normal levels - I feel wonderful, healthier, focused, get better sleep and am generally feeling like my old self with a little aggression on the side which I am learning to control as its a new found feeling. I chuck out old habits that make me depressed and bring in new ones that make me happy. Im in control not my body or anyone else, just lil ol me kicking some booty.

Obiovusly taking supplements or having someone recommend supplements is a dodgy thing on the net so if anyone wants to go this route then thoroughly check it out first, maybe consult a doctor or nutritionist and do some quality research on the net, I have to say though it helps me no end. I had to sort myself out mentally though before I went this route so challenge your inner issues and then you will find you have the motivation to get on with things that improve your life. I also find that my anger at my own past weakness and at letting others walk all over me in pursuit of their selfish goals motivates me no end to succeed in all that I do, it pushes me to keep fit, it pushes me to succeed with my business and it forces me to look at my own shortcomings and the shortcomings of others and to confront them head on when need be.

Also I found that fear ruled my life, fear of living, fear of doing this that and the other, fear of death, fear of others dying, fear of loneliness, fear of loss, fear of succeeding, fear of just about everything. Now whenever I feel fear I stop what Im doing and have a look at the thoughts making me fearful and then I let them go after ive torn them apart rationally and with anger, fight fire with fire, then I can get on with things with no more fear which feels liberating, motivating and pretty good. Ive still got years to go on the fear thing before I kick its butt totally but slowly does it, I’ll get there in the end.

So that’s about it really, I could probably be more coherent and I might have missed things but that’s how Ive got my confidence back although its not all there yet, but thats how Ive made myself feel a lot lot happier and less anxious and fearful.
James

James

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2007, 09:29:36 AM »
Hey lighter  :D

Ami

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2007, 09:38:24 AM »
Dear James
  THANK YOU... I needed that inspiration,today. I agree with the supplements and will look in to the hormonal ones.
   I am so, so happy for you. Did you have N parents? Was it N friends that brought you here?
   It is so great to see s/o healing and feeling good inside their own skin.
   A big "Way to Go, Brother .                        Love    Ami


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Lupita

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2007, 09:43:06 AM »
Hi James!!!!

Hopalong

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2007, 12:08:22 PM »
Quote
Now whenever I feel fear I stop what Im doing and have a look at the thoughts making me fearful and then I let them go after ive torn them apart rationally and with anger, fight fire with fire

thanks for this, James me dearie.
I have missed you here.

I can feel the waves of energy ... and I know you'll find a way to keep it all in balance. I like CB's suggestion about having hormone levels properly checked.

Stay out of the pokey. And thanks for the inspiration to use anger to defeat fear...(my translation is to use my anger at my feeling fear to move my lazy arse and exercise.).

Hugs (and I wonder if you've done any martial arts training...?)
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

teartracks

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2007, 03:05:55 PM »



(((((((((((((((((((((((James, you're back!  Affectionate pat, pat, pat's on the back, smile, smile, twinkling eyes with stars wafting out! )))))))))))))))))))))))))

tt

James73

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Re: Hey all
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2007, 06:03:35 PM »
Hello to all!!  :D  its really good to be back on here even though ive only been off for a little while Ive forgotten how great you all are  :D I was a little fearful of diclosing too much, theres that word again, fear, but as always youve all got good ideas and words of encouragement which is lovely to read. I have to say I do exercise to get rid of my agression as best I can and I dont touch drink and havent for quite a while, maybe twice a year and even then only a couple of bottles which is enough to get me pretty tipsy  :) Ive also cut out sugary foods, sigh there goes another comfort vice, still I feel really good not having processed sugar all the time, in fact it made a difference in just a few days, ive got more energy and again sleep even better for it, I never realised my sugar cravings were actually doing me harm mentally and energy wise, a slow non processed sugar release is much better than a super injection of energy as processed sugar and white flour tends to do to some people and me included  :(  :D

Hops I tried Martial Arts a couple of times, tai chi was the longest one I tried, very calming and I prefer it to yoga I didnt keep it up though, perhaps I will get back to it one day when I feel ready to tackle it seriously, I also tried wing chun but its one you really need to go to a training centre to get to grips with and that requires dosh and diligence I wasnt ready to do. I've had hormone tests done in the past but nothing showed up, still lab tests dont tell you everything and I genuinely believe ive had some kind of deficiencey testosterone wise, maybe mentally induced who knows, still time to kick its bum back to haides now  :P

Love you guys
James