Another UU 'Sermon'

[bigalspal]

Hey Hop & friends,
You are NOT going to believe this!
Remember how I talked about my sleepwalking?
Well, I went to bed around 9:30pm last night. I get up about 6am this morning. I always head for the fridge for a coke. I don't drink coffee. Anyway, I found my fridge door wide open! I thought "What in the world?" Thank goodness I live alone while my DH is on the road, so I don't keep alot of food. And I have a double door fridge with ice & water on the door, so the freezer door was closed. Anyway, I need to make a phone call. The phone I like to use is on my nightstand in my bedroom. Well, when I get to the phone, I notice GRAPE STEMS on the table!
I must have got up & went & got some grapes from the fridge & left the door open! I sleepwalk more often when I'm troubled about something. I have neck disc surgery coming up on the 30th.
My husband called about that time & he's so sweet & caring. He said "Baby, you don't have to worry! I'll be right there with you during surgery & I'll be there to take care of afterwards!" 
He said the same thing. That I must be worried & I was sleepwalking. At least THIS time I wasn't NAKED! 
I went to the puter to a FDA site & figured out what I need to throw away.
Not alot, thank goodness, but I guess I need to go to the store sometime today.
Thought my friends could use ANOTHER laugh to start your day!
I hope I don't start "sleep eating". That's a real disorder  & people (usually women) gain ALOT of weight from it and don't realize WHY! 
I think it was just an isolated incident.
How about them apples! (Pun intended!)
Love,
Bigalspal

[teartracks]

Hi Red,

I'm no medical expert, OK.  But a couple things to consider.  If you take Ambien it could be the cause of the sleepwalking/amnesia.  Obviously, not everyone experiences these symptoms, but I'm a total insomniac, have taken Ambien, have experienced amnesia and the spike it causes in ones appetite.  Second, have you had your blood sugar checked?  As I say, I'm not a medical person, so any advice I offer in that arena may be worth no more than you paid for it.

Hops, this may be way off your UU sermon or not.  I think you mentioned Ambien and the subject was sleep, but I'll go  ahead and apologize just in case. 

Can't remember if I've extended a hand of fellowship to you Redginger, so I'll do it now.  Welcome to VESMB>

tt

[bigalspal]

Hi TT,
I probally have Hijacked poor Hops thread, so I'm sorry!
Anyway, TT, I have taken Ambien in the past, but none in my system.
This all started as far back as ANYONE can remember.
At least is does relate to my problems with my NMother's abuse, so I'm not completely off topic.
It's always been an outward manifestation of my troubled mind & spirit.
I think it's because of my impending surgery.
At the last place we lived, my husband installed a better lock on the front door to make her harder for me to get out.
Anyway, have a great day TT!
Bigalspal

[Hopalong]

  AMBIENT SPIKES APPETITE????? 

I did not know that!! I've gained 20 pounds!

But wait. I don't eat after I take the Ambien...

Shoot. Thought I had an easy answer.

But, do you know if taking it means you'd be having appetite control problems steadily, or just as a spike after you take the tablet?

Wow, TT...thank you so very much for mentioning this.

(No worries about hijacking, BAP, I never mind. I like it when threads wander and also feel that if anyone wants a thread to return to subject, they can simply type: Need to return to my subject, anybody got a comment on that?)

thanks again,
Hops

[teartracks]

Hi Hops,

My experience OK...  About 20 minutes after taking Ambien, I have an irristable urge to eat.  After taking it for a few days say three or four, my personality is affected negatively.  That's not a good thing since it's taken me quite a few years to get one!    So I went online to see what I could find out about it.  There is a message board (didn't record the URL) where people tell of their experiences with Ambien.  Some are VERY bizarre.  For those who don't suffer side effects, it's a good thing.

tt

[Hopalong]

Wowsers. Thanks, TT.

I have a couple samples of Lunesta.
I'll try that.

It will be a long-term project to wean myself entirely, but I intend to.

thanks again.

Now, my topic--anybody else have a comment on my "sermon"? 
My head is back to its original size, promise. I'd enjoy knowing if anyone has more of a feeling of "getting" what it's like to be me, spiritually speaking...it's the first time I've been able to get it out at such length.

If it's too confusing or obscure, no worries. I can even confuse myself. And we've got plenty other stuff to talk about.

love,
Hops

[birdy750]

I had just finished reading a book on Francis Bacon,an artist,when I came on board and read your lovely sermon. Hops I don't type so bare with me --but I wanted to share this--as I felt it pertinent. I am reading a great deal this summer,as I teach Art and I really want my students to elevate thier level of creative / abstract thinking. Here's what I was reading....

"Unconscious scanning"is the name which Ehrenzweig gave to the active but unfocused attention as a result of which we make discoveries and establish correspondences which are denied to 'normal', concentrated, focused attention. It is a common and universal experience of everyday life that if we momentarily forget something, we cannot recapture it by knitting our brows and concentrating;but if,on the contrary, we relax our attention and let the mind go limp,the missing fact will find its way back of its own accord.Ehrenzweig suggested that what was formerly known as 'the chaos of the onconscious' is, in reality, a serial structure of supreme beauty and complexity; and that it is accessible only to unconscious vision."

Day-dreaming!!! Now I can do that----Be still and listen.....
The book made one other point I thought worthy.....

"Vertical thinking has been  defined by Edward de Bono as knowing how to dig an already-existing hole deeper. Its antithesis is lateral thinking: digging a hole somewhere else, and knowing where to begin. Vertical thinking can be taught, and is the basis and object of formal education. Lateral thinking is something quite different. De Bono suggests that its principles can be considered under four heading: recognition of dominant or polarizing ideas; the search for different ways of looking at things; relaxation of the rigid control of vertical thinking; and the use of chance."

I can relate religion, relationships and healing to being able to adopt a more lateral view!!!! Lord knows I got the hang of digging in the same spot !!!!!

[Hopalong]

Thank so much, Birdy and CB.

Birdy, that's the first time I've read a description that almost exactly nails what it feels like to me when I am relaxed enough to write poetry...when the images or metaphors swim up and take shape and one goes: bingo. Thank you!

CB, that's so comforting...to be so understood. Thank you so so much. I appreciate it very much. I often wish that I hadn't had the crisis of faith I had in my 20s. But, then again, I usually take that thought back. It just felt so lonely for such a long time, to find myself one who doesn't know. I think that's why giving this one meant so much to me. My church not only accepts doubt and deep questioning, but encourages it. Somehow, for me, doubt doesn't have a negative meaning any more...it's just using the mind that the universe gave me. There are so many good things I DON'T doubt, that I think I'm usually wrestling with language, not with core values that in my childhood were no question from religious teaching--like kindness and empathy and honesty. Come right down to it, the deity concept isn't a bother, because it's a word. It was the rules of the church, the contradictions in the texts, the suppression of women, that drove me away. But now I'm in a place where I can be who I am. I am so grateful.

Thank you both.

Birdy, I think I need some Vertical thinking too. Maybe the clean up your room and do your paperwork kind.    And thank you so much for taking the trouble to type all that to me, when I know it hurts your back.

love
Hops

[teartracks]

Hi Hops,

I think the gist of what you said in your sermon is that you view agnosticism as defiance of faith or choosing defiance rather than faith,  along the same lines as having the capacity  to defy sleep because it is in your power to do so.  It seems to me that the act of defying faith or sleep is an exercise in faith.   So I don't know if it is possible to defy faith, because the defying is a form of faith. 

Edit in:  You've got me thinking.   I'm asking myself, how many things in my life are driven by resistance or defiance?  I think I'm going to have to do some thinking out of the box. 

tt

[Hopalong]

Wow, TT, that's a very interesting take...I hadn't thought of it like that.
Thank you very much!

Hmmm.

Well, it did take a LOT of defiance to survive the consciousness-raising thing (about women, how they are taught and trained to view themselves and each other). It did.

Spot on. Thank you. I would like to do some more more more thinking about spirituality and gender. I went to a feminist theology workshop and it bored me to tears because it was about embracing matriarchy and examining old potshards that indicated women were once revered. But I don't want to replace male power over female, with female power over male.

I think as long as it was all linked to masculine pronouns and language, I had to let it go. I did, but it was like digging up deep roots. Very hard and slow.

Now, spiritually, I'm a little like the hole I described to Ami (except I am positive about the seed and the outcome).

thanks for your thoughts, TT.

Hops

[teartracks]

Hops,

What a challenge.  I think you'll be doing a lot of free association trying to figure out those issues. 

tt

[moonlight52]

Hops ,

I was so touched by your sermon filled with hope and humor
and such beautiful kindness and wonder.

When you wrote of the quest of faith or sleep and said
"maybe trying to get it as though sleep is an object you can grasp is what keeps it away"
was such an insight.
Such lovely words
 
love to you,

moon

[Hopalong]

You know, TT, I actually feel okay about not having it figured out.
Strangely enough, the more deeply I embrace the fence walking as my own dance of life, the more it seems to me it cannot have a dire outcome.

Moon, I'm so glad you found those things in it.
I love you back!

blessings awash,
Hops

[teartracks]

Hops,

fence walking

Better wear good shoes otherwise you'll get splinters in your feet!   

tt

[mudpuppy]

Better wear good shoes otherwise you'll get splinters in your feet!

True, tt.

And coming down on both sides of that fence can be pretty painful also.

mud