Hi Beth,
For me lately, I've been realizing and owning some of the ways in which I have been like them with the flip side of these characteristics. I mean that I too had/have some problems with instant gratification. For me, it is like Axa says--when was it ever going to be my turn? For once in my life when can I have what I want? On the surface it probably seems the same as their need for instant gratification. But below the surface it is not.
However, I can use that knowledge about my own desire for instant gratification, and how hard it has been to let go of that, and apply this understanding to how impossible it is for them to even see that part of themselves, let alone let go of it--and it kind of takes the steam out of me. I can start to move on to the next issue.
Since I am feeling better at times, I do think I'm making progress. That I'm actually crossing things off the list. My "healing list".
Pennyplant