Dandylife

[finding peace]

Hi Dandylife,

I have been thinking of you.  How are you doing; have things improved with your H?

Peace

[dandylife]

Hey, thank you for asking!

I have been moving all my belongings out of my apartment - 7/31 is my last day there!

You'd think that my H would be happy, thrilled, excited - this is what he's wanted for the past year!

But, no, he's resentful of the time that I'm spending there, packing, cleaning, moving. I'm not here to adulate him (is that a word?) And he keeps intimating that I'm doing something unseemly by spending "so much time there". He even asked our 10 year old what was the status over there (as if he has the capacity to say how many boxes are left to pack and how much to clean). Suspicious minds.....

So, yeah, I'm disappointed and frustrated, but I have little expectations and I like to think I deal with his emotion(al) storms better.

Now I've got lots of stuff to put away...(really, I do) 

Love,
dandylife

[lighter]

 Dandylife:
\
Maybe you won't have to put up with those emotional storms of your N's.... for much longer.

It ticks me off that he's making a difficult situation for you even harder.  

Can't you pack and move stuff when he's not there to pester you?  

[Hopalong]

Happy new digs, Dandy....

I'm hoping it really is the start of a dandy life for you.

hugs
Hops

[Ami]

Dear Dandy,
   I have been occupied with my F's visit. Did you leave your H?                            Love  Ami

[dandylife]

finding peace, oh, that massage sounds good just about now!

Thanks, Hops! I know what I'm getting into so...I just hope I have grown and learned enough in the past few years to break the cycle (dependency, drama, stubbornness, etc. on both our parts) We are having a rough start but I hope things improve over the next couple days.

Lighter and Ami, I know - it's a tough storyline to follow. I'm confused, too. Here's the timeline....Married 1984. Separated June 2002. Divorce final Dec 2002. Apart 2 years. Stormy on again/off again 2004-2006. I thought it was all over a year ago in May 2006 when I left him and got an apartment. However, we reconciled and I have been living with him in his house since about January 2007, although I kept the apt and have been spending minimal time there, until now when my lease is up. I am now moving all my belongings into "our" house.

Has anyone else noticed the teeny weeny nitpicky one thing the N is not happy with so then can't see the whole big picture? That has been a core issue for our marriage.

Thanks for the good wishes all,
Dandylife