Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
JanetLG:
Bones,
My NSister actually used to say to me (with a straight face) 'with a sister like me, you don't need friends, do you?'
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Janet
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: JanetLG on September 09, 2007, 09:30:12 AM ---Bones,
My NSister actually used to say to me (with a straight face) 'with a sister like me, you don't need friends, do you?'
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Janet
--- End quote ---
Good Grief!!!!
Bones
BonesMS:
Would you believe that "Said Friend" sent me two e-mails back-to-back?!?!? Needless to say, they both got deleted without a response! I REALLY do NOT want to have any further dealings with her since she cannot seem to respect anyone's boundaries!
Bones
BonesMS:
There is one dilemma though. Several months ago, a neighbor and I committed to a yard sale, in another city, to get rid of the clutter in our homes. Unfortunately, "said friend" will be at the same yard sale, next week, so it's going to be a bit awkward.
Bones
BonesMS:
A thought just occurred to me regarding her passive-aggressive behavior. In looking at her behaviors from a global perspective, I couldn't help but notice a pattern of what appears to be passive-aggressive resentment. Case in point: She always wanted to be a mother but things just didn't happen that way. When one of her sisters finally became pregnant, she had to go on medical bed rest because her pregnancy was high risk. As a result, this one sister had to rely on others to get things taken care of (i.e. cooking, cleaning and laundry). When "said friend" went to her sister's home to help her, the sister gave her explicit instructions on how to launder her maternity bras given that they were both delicate and expensive. "Said friend" completely ignored these instructions, threw the maternity bras in with the regular laundry, and destroyed them. How I found out about it was when "said friend" was regaling the incident to me and giggling about it because SHE thought it was funny!
Years later, she tries to rip apart my regalia minutes before my graduation ceremony is about to start! Then attempts to yank my mortarboard out of my hands on the plane ride home after being specifically told to leave it alone! This led me to think of the following possibility:
(a) She wanted to become a mother, does not achieve that goal but her sister does.
(b) She wanted to complete her college education, does not achieve that goal but I do.
What better way to passively-aggressively express her resentment against these achievements than to attempt to destroy the symbols of the achievements (i.e. the maternity bras and my regalia)? This pattern struck me as quite interesting.
Bones
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