Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
BonesMS:
A brief update....
Said "friend" called me yesterday as I was preparing to head to work at the Hotline. She wanted to "drop in" (at the last minute) to show me a brochure about some stuff she is considering. I reminded her (again) that I have a job on the weekends and this last minute stuff is not conducive to anything constructive. Needless to say, she kept dithering and mindlessly blathering about how she *NEEDS* my opinion on this stuff! :roll: Again, I repeated that I'm on my way out the door. I hang up, finish gathering the materials I need for the Hotline and start heading out.
I encountered one of my neighbors in the hallway of my building (I'm the building captain) and she asked me several questions concerning our Homeowners Association and related issues. As I'm responding to her questions, who turns up at the building door? Said "friend" because she ASSUMED it would be OK to take up only a "few minutes". (She never pays attention to the time.) I bid my neighbor good bye and walked out the building to the parking lot while "friend" continued to dither and blather about what SHE wanted to talk about. My only response was an absent minded nod and an "Uh-huh" while walking to my car. She finally came to her own pre-decided conclusion and went on her way without interfering with my getting to work. THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Bones
BonesMS:
And she didn't seem to notice that I didn't let her into my home nor really responded to her blathering.
Bones
changing:
Hi Bones-
I once saw Indira Ghandi alight from a motorcade of black Mercedes, with a host of guards preventing anyone from accosting her, very effective...perhaps we should think of a similar method- maybe 4 silent but watchful dobies- one in front, back, on each side?
Bones, you are the best!!!
Changing
Ami:
Dear Changing,
That reminds me of myself and my two dogs( who don't like my H too much) Love Ami
Certain Hope:
Hey Bones,
Not an attempt at diagnosis here, but wow - she just sounds so... disconnected from reality and... ritualistic? Like this is some pre-set task she's set up for herself to perform - getting your "opinion" (even though she's already decided?) What a collossal waste of time. Annoying indeed! Good for you, keeping to your own schedule and not allowing yourself to get sidetracked there.
You know, I can feel, from what you said about your hotline work... what makes it special and enjoyable is that you are impacting the lives of others, for the better.. making a difference.
By the same token, what makes this friendship (and some of my own, too) so frustrating and... empty... is the lack of impact we're allowed to have on folks who don't listen, don't show us respect, don't really even seem to notice that we're individual, autonomous human beings!
Yuck. I am really working on qualifying the terms of friendship for myself and being more selective about actively choosing people with whom it might be enjoyable!! and fulfilling!! and mutual ... and not just such a drag all the time.
Happy day at work to you, Bones.
Love,
Hope
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