money money money ( again )

[changing]

You are Right Write!

As I was dragging my heavy law books and computer in the broiling sun near my NH's precious Starbucks (and I think his new flame's workplace) with my cane, my hair beginning to creep out of its neat bun into a hideous mess, my odd clothes rumpled and sticky, my dodgy foot swelling and throbbing, and my face- well you don't even want to know what was going on there! I had an epiphany- I could no longer grant appeasements to the "greedy spoiler" ( in political science, a cowardly party who interferes in a peace process in order to exact gains when it appears that there would be no down side in a cost benefit analysis) who is my NH- he will not keep his agreements, anyway,just like any other greedy spoiler, but will simply see what I give him as  a sign of weakness, and pressure me for more. Somehow, I am expected to keep his  secrets and expose myself to liability in order to protect his lawsuit ( that I assisted him with from the onset)? Uh-Uuuuuuhhh!

I will send no money (he actually said that he was shocked that we have debt...AW GEEE). I guess I should send him all of my retirement funds, and trust that he will keep his word about the house. HA HA. And the guns- if I tell him the thing about the lawyer  he will freak out, because he wouldn't want his lawyer to know that we are separated even ( stupid, huh), and certainly nothing about the guns. I think I will send him a suit or two, though. (Lawsuits? Divorce papers?) I'm feeling especially generous (NOT, but really he is entitled to his things, and I'd rather he not bother me here). How should I do this? Has anyone ever mailed jackets, pants, etc?

Thank you,

Changing

[Hopalong]

Has anyone ever mailed jackets, pants, etc?

I can help, Changing!

What you do is get a big cardboard cutout of somebody like Bruce Willis from a cinema employee after the movie's finished its run and then you put the pants on it--those things are skinny, you can pile them on top of each other--and then the jackets layered on top, plenty of room, and then you peel up the cuffs of each pair of pants and squirt a good ribbon of wood glue in each leg, don't want them falling off in transit or anything, and then you open up each layer of jacket by the lapels and just kind of run the wood glue up and down each side, wave it back and forth really well so you'll get good coverage, and then pat them all down nice and smooth to keep them from wrinkling, give the whole thing a good up-and-down shake and tap so it'll all settle nicely, and then get a big roll of duct tape and start wrapping at the feet and just keep on wrapping, people really appreciate careful packaging these days, wrapwrapwrap, until you're right under Bruce's chin, and then take a nice big black permanent marker and write your N's name and address across Bruce's bald head and down his face and finish up with the zip code right above his smirk.

Hops

[changing]

Hopalong, Her Royal Hop Highness,

As always, Hoppy, you have fashioned the ultimate answer to my dilemma! Thank you for the laugh, it is a salutory experience when one awakens from a semi comatose state!

Love,

Changing

[JanetLG]

Changing,

Being a devilish sort of person  , when I split up with my NBoyfriend, he didn't bother to clear out the last of his clothes, and expected to come into the house once I had bought him out (when HE wanted to, not when it was convenient for me) to collect his stuff.

So I pre-empted him.

I put his clothes into the boot of my car, drove to his mother's (that's where he'd retreated to - aah, bless!!), and tipped them all over the wall, one at at a time, onto the dirt of their front garden, which was full of roses.

It was so gratifying to see his flashy suit, and white shoes (yes, white, he was such a poser) landing in the dirt.

And what made it better, was that their neighbour was gardening at the time, and watched the whole thing, with his mouth open.

You might not be able to do exactly this kind of thing, but women's revenge is WONDERFUL!!!


Janet

[changing]

Thank you Miss Janet for your infernal advice! And after my divorce, I shall need your help in the heavenly romances department as well ( I still think that the story of your marriage would make a great movie)! Now back to my bills and budget...

Love from across the Pond,

Changing

[WRITE]

I imagine clothing packs for mailing better when shredded....

white shoes

shocking 

heavenly romances department

no white shoes though please.... 

Now back to my bills and budget...

Okay back to money considerations!

I've cancelled the gym membership which will save $54 a month.
Dad sent me $100 for my birthday which is timely and quite pleasant because there are no strings attached!
Ex wants to buy me the washer-dryer for the new place but I will say my heart sank when yesterday he said he wants us to go shopping for it....sort-of like we were married maybe? I'd find the outing quite reminiscint and depressing and will try to talk him out of it.

You'd laugh at me shopping with my coupons today, I got so much for $43 ( over $10 of coupons! )
I've still got to get laundry detergent and then there will be gas and fresh produce for the rest of the month but I should be fine.

I went through my bathroom closet and pulled out shampoo and conditioner and things I never even knew I had, sometimes you can have quite a makeover with stuff you forgot about!

Next I have to decide whether tp book movers or to do it myself....I'll compare the costs first.

~W

[Hopalong]

Bravo, Write, and thank you for inspiring me!
This morning I called the credit card company and negotiated the rate 2 points lower.
That felt great.

I also am filling up the white board I bought and entering each new (lower) amount as I pay it.

And I moved a chair and set up a new "paperwork corner" which has helped a lot too.

You, GS, and others who have shared the struggles and strategies have helped me so much.

And I see up above is a thread on procrastination...see you there!

love
Hops

[WRITE]

This morning I called the credit card company and negotiated the rate 2 points lower.
That felt great.

I also am filling up the white board I bought and entering each new (lower) amount as I pay it.

people have said that making something concrete helps pin down practicality and I think it's true.

Money is such an important thing because attach to it too much and it's hard to feel content and secure, detach totally and it's constant anxiety and not knowing....

I'm simplifying too Hops, at the end of September I will add up anything I owe and probably get extra work until it's paid.

I haven't booked the SF trip, can't make my mind up about that.

And I'm not going to Goddard next  year- I will have to take a year out from that, which is disappointing, but I have enrolled in a certificate course, I have done a certificate in 205 and 2006 too, so i can show my continued education. this one is in end-of-life care, which is very relevant to my work.

I'm disappointed I can't do what I'd really like, but not prepared to go into thousands of pounds of debt right now either. Once I know I can manage a basic busget maybe I'll regain confidence.

The truth is I am still dependent on alimony too much though- and don't trust ex enough, plus he has a way of announcing huge changes to throw me off-balance....

I do feel I turned a corner though- not drifting, I have made some decisions today.

~W