Thanks everyone for insightful responses and thoughtful ones and for all your support and encouragement.
My birthday passed quietly; church guy forgot- though I secretly hoped he wouldn't, most of my friends forgot, my sister sent a lovely top, my dad $100, my s-i-l sent Sanex bath stuff then three of my favourite friends came out tonight and bought me Indian food, roses, a book and watched opera with me.
I feel not so much that the best is yet to come but more 'maybe this is as good as it gets for now.....' and I think I should calm down and relax and enjoy what happens that's nice whilst I finally face my disappointment and regrets and bitterness and loneliness, which means spending some time alone for a while instead of racing around trying to be all things to all people.
I guess it's time for me to take a Board- break too, I have noticed I am spending more and more time online....avoiding myself by analysing myself?! How strange is that. But if I were typing my own work it would be finished by now. There's my procrastination in these 'ere threads!
I think I need to write my work, and to be alone to do that and concentrate.
Take care,
Love to everyone
~Write