Darren: I'll work on breaking my inner vow... Its quite the catch 22... I need society to get better and yet I don't wanna be a part of it...
This is such a true and profound statement! It's true for all of us to an extent as well.
I need the help of others in order to function as a viable member of the human race among them, and yet, do I DARE to trust them?
The answer is a yes and no.
Personally, I need mankind, only as far as their knowledge can line up with TRUTH, which comes from the Bible. Once I see too much deviation of my standards, I steer clear as much as possible. People are HUMAN, which means they are NOT all-knowing, all-powerful, and ever-present.
I think, one thing I've learned about personality disorders and dysfunctional behaviors, in people from chlidhood on up, is that, the problems they have as adults, come from expecting something of human beings that they don't have the ability to be or do.
As a child, "PARENT" is almost seen as a god to us.
They are in a place of "caregiver, protector, provider, comforter." When we grow to adulthood, we begin to see where they fell short of or did not do one iota of what their roles were supposed to encompass!
What I've come to realize and live by, is that, my mother, father, maternal figure, paternal figure, cannot be GOD to me as an adult...not even a god-figure.
Consider: God is ALL- KNOWING
One of the things that narcissistic "parents" do to us, is to make us fear them because it seems they can "read our minds" and will often use that info against us. The only way N's can seemingly mind-read, is based on them being very cunning and talented at paying attention, people-watching, studying, researching even, how the mind works, what your fears are, what your behavioral tendencies are.
(I can remember Kay saying to me, "I know more about you than YOU know yourself! it's easy, Laura...you're an open book" Translated: I've been watching what you type online for years, I've been listening to your tone of voice on the microphone, I've met others that seem like you...I KNOW what I can do to get to your heart and get you to CRUMBLE in my hands like PUTTY")
GOD IS EVERYWHERE!
Anyone who has had to dodge a flying "discipline" belt as it was heading toward them once again...or who learned to have safe hiding places where the N wouldn't find you...or who can probably beat the fastest Olympic track runner, just by virtue of needing to escape from N parental figure for your LIFE...knows that N's can NOT be everywhere at the same time, as God can. Think about this and find some peace from knowing that you DO have a way OUT and a way to ESCAPE!
GOD IS ALL-POWERFUL
if N's were all-powerful, why would they spend their time trying to get US to do their bidding? WHy would they have a fear of their TRUE SELF being seen or found out? WHY would they run from the emotion of LOVE, when GOD, who IS all-powerful IS LOVE. Again, consider this one and find comfort in it. The N is but A HUMAN BEING...albeit an EVIL one at times, but merely HUMAN, DUST, and the only one who can continue to allow him/ her power over your mind/body, IF YOU HAVE A WAY TO LEAVE AND ARE NOT TAKING IT, is YOU. Make a choice. CHOOSE LIFE. CHOOSE HOPE. CHOOSE FREEDOM!
~Laura
