Another thought. When I talk to my children about their father, I tend to say "Dad" I just recently began realizing this, when my biological mom told me that I tend to respond to my children like I am the child and they are the adults.
For instance, during a car trip, I said to Anna "you can not treat me this way!" My mother said "you sounded like a whiney child who was being bullied by another child!" Instead, try it this way: "I am not speaking to you unless you talk to me with respect."
That's what made me start listening to myself more. Maybe instead of "Dad wants his tea" i could say "Please take your father his tea."
I think the whole "daddy" "Dad" thing began when I first married him. I saw myself as much younger (he is 7 yrs older) than he. Even our wedding photo. We are facing sideways and I'm looking UP into his eyes, as the "obedient one" underneath him. When babies were born, I'd say "Daddy just doesn't appreciate how precious babies are" as I was looking into my child's eyes cooing to them
After I went back to college and also went through being medicated and off meds, I decided I no longer wanted to be my husband's little girl. I don't want to hold his finger when we walk...I want to hold his hand. I don't want to be treated like a bratty little kid and told "then don't act like a child and I won't treat you like one" when i tell him I want him to pay the bills. I want to be seen as his equal...one problem with that...he lives in HIS childhood years.
He doesn't LIKE that I don't want him to "father" me. He doesn't appreciate that i went back to school and says it "RUINED" me. He doesn't like it that I speak up about things that bother me or that his nonchalant attitude is NOT acceptable anymore.
Just making some changes and suggestions from you all would be appreciated.
~Laura
