RThank you for having the courage to share your story. I don't know how you turned out sane enough to be able to sort it out in any rational kind of what. I can hear that detachment that you developed as a child. It was a saving grace. I also hear that it was painful and chaotic beyond words.
How ironic that we are set up by our miserable childhoods to pick partners who are narcissistic and psychopathic. Your description of your girlfriend sounds familiar. My partner was a male but he self injured himself, lied, gaslighted, spread rumours and swindled me and others.
I find this facinating. I can't learn enough about it. As if that would protect me from getting involved with another user/abuser.
I am so glad that you broke the spell with your ex and have no contact. It is the path to serenity for sure.
I hope you keep writing your story. It is helpful to me and makes me feel less alone. I would be very interested in hearing about what sorts of things she did to you and how you finally stopped blaming yourself and realized that you were not to blame for her behaviour.
Sea storm
All the best to you
