Poppyseed retrurning when?

[lighter]

Is she gone for a week... or what?

[Poppy Seed]

Hey Lighter!

I am back.  We drove in late last night.  Holy Cow!  The board has exploded!  I have some catching up to do.  Better get my reading glasses and a soda.  I have a lot of ground to cover!

[Certain Hope]

Welcome back again, lil sister Poppyseed 

Couple days ago, I was thinkin... hmm... I thought Pops went for 3-4 days with those new friends... but this seemed like the longest 3-4 days of the year!!

I hope you enjoyed your time away and lookin forward to hearing whatever you'd like to share, once you get caught up at home.

My report: Still smoke-free and blood pressure is finally stabilized... thanking God for that!

Once the pressure simmered down, I was feeling so weak and  the past few days... and then finally remembered - the one med has a diuretic in it. Doc had told me that I might have to take potassium to replenish... so today I did... and calcium, too... and ouila! Much better  For awhile there, though, sure was feelin old and worn out... amazing how sensitive the body system can be to all this stuff.

Well... the sun's about down, so I came in from the yard and just thought I'd say hey again.

So hey again... and hope you have a restful weekend after your travels.

((((((((((Pops)))))))))))

Love to you,
Carolyn

[lighter]

::tapping foot::

When do I get to see a post on the trip, Poppy?

HmmmmmMMMM?

Glad you're back safe.... now I'm off to the beach: )

[Poppy Seed]

Howdy Ho, Carolyn!

SO incredibly glad that you are ok.  You gave me a scare last week.  That bp thing.... but sounds like everything is back on track.  Here! Here! to the smoking success.  Still here cheering you on.  I am sure it is a battle everyday.  I hope you are feeling some of the fruits that come from such a courageous decision.

Spending time in the garden....love it!  Do you have the veggie or flower kind? or the weed kind like me?   I can't wait for the completion of our landscaping project.  The retaining walls were completed yesterday which completes the backyard patio. Hopefully by the end of next week we will be ready for the sod.  Sprinklers and curbing first I guess.   Then I can plant trees and a little garden.  There is nothing better than fall tomatoes and corn on the cob!!  Food of the gods!  My kids are chomping at the bit to get out and play!  Can't wait til we are done.


Lighter,  Stop your tapping  and pull up a chair.  On to the travel log..............


Overall it was a great week.  Lazy schedule and lots of swimming!  Our kids made sure of that.  I so enjoyed my children.  Spent time with each of them.....when they weren't delighted with their little friends.  My oldest son caught a frog and some lizards (he is the next steve irwin) which was, of course, the highlight of his week.  My girls painted nails and played lots of Othello (board game)  and my youngest son kept us in stitches.  He always has something delightful to say.  I read decorating magazines and we all rested.  We also enjoyed the beauty of a nearby national park.  We did some walking around and observing of the landscape.  Our kids found a small farm that raised elk.  The rancher man was so incredibly kind.  He let the kids feed and pet his animals, which I might add were huge with 6 to 8 points!  Such majestic creatures.  It was a rare treat for my animal loving family.  We also shopped for arrowheads and polished stones and bought each of us a little treasure. 

My H made sure I spent a good 3 hours at the spa in exchange for his 18 holes.  I got the best massage of my life.  No pain afterwards.  My eyebrows are waxed, my toes are frenched,  and my face is.....well.....facialized!  I guess I am a new woman!   

I tried to cook something new and about asphixiated (sp?) everyone.  I tried to reduce balsamic vinegar that wouldn't reduce.  It was awful.  Eyes watering, needing fresh air!  Oh well.  Thank goodness for the condo balconies and ceiling fans!!  Everyone forgave me when the steaks turned out good, though! (wink) I see lots of jokes about it in my future!

The social part of the whole event was tricky.  Our friends endured a miscarriage just days before we left.  She was struggling with some depression and was often withdrawn.  The rest of us tried to be supportive and to give them space.  I found myself alone a lot and struggling to find conversation with the other couple.  I had met them only once before.  They were fun and active and delightful to me.  I worried a bit about being myself with no security blanket.  But I stayed in the game and tried to use my humor and care.   If I did lose my center, I would just take a minute alone and get refocused and use my new self care tools and my "lighter" pep talk, and jump back into the mix.  I enjoyed myself --literally!  I had to control the temptation to assign my friends withdrawl from us as my fault.  I tried to stay out of her head and stay in my most positive conclusions about her behavior.  It was hard.  They didn't say thanks for coming or warm goodbyes when we left.  It was confusing.  But I am trying to think the best thoughts about myself and my participation on the weekend.  Letting go of outcomes, right??   Or at least not let the outcomes affect my conclusions about self.

And so, now we are home and really sick of the car!!  My H and I had an argument this morning.  It started when I asked him why it was so hard to be loyal to me over his family why it felt like a prison to him to appreciate my way of doing stuff. He said something that smacked of how positive his thinking was and how traditionally negative I am.  I told him to quick shoving his perfectness in my face and left.  I don't suppose it was my finest hour.  So, I am here at my parents home (they are out of town) trying to get my head straight again.  I think we had a great vacation together and wanted to get closer but I couldn't do it because of this ongoing issue that shows its ugly head.  I can't trust that he is on my side or committed to me or even loves me even though he says he does.  He simply feels that he has to choose between the family he loves and the person he used to be (the happy N world) and me.  He is still fighting the battle of leaving his parents for me.  I guess I was sick of it today. 

Nice ending to a great story, eh?

Thanks for being interested.  And it was nice to be missed.

Pops



PS.  You are off to the beach?  Cool!

[Certain Hope]

((((((((Pops)))))))))  Thanks for the cheers... one day at a time, one foot before the other, etc, etc... lol... oy vey. Dental work proceeds this coming Thursday, but my dread is gone. Now I only want to move beyond the repairs into the thriving.
"This too shall pass" is my byline these days. 
My gardening is scattered across 1/2 acre - in impromptu plots, hangbaskets, buckets, rock beds... nothing formal (I don't do formal), just quite... well, naturalized. Mainly, it consists in removal of monstrous jungle-like weedery and discovering what latest little blooms might have been hidden by the overgrowth. Lotsa sweet little blossoms have come up by seed this year, and even in the autumn, there are new discoveries to be made. I let one giant pot of coleus go ahead and flower, instead of pinching off the bloom spikes, and it has become a butterfly haven - fun to watch. Many things burn out in the intense August heat and then rebirth in September, so this is a second-Spring for me.

I'm so glad to hear that your family enjoyed the trip!
Your children sound like they enjoy the same sorta things mine always have... and that makes for great fun, I think.
Despite the difficult circumstances, your attitude is excellent and that's what will carry each of us through, no matter what, I believe. I'm so sorry for the couple who had a miscarriage... that had to have been a very trying time for them, trying to follow through on these previously made plans. Not picking up their pain and feeling responsible for "fixing" it would have been a challenge for me, I know... but sounds like you did wonderfully with all this! Enjoying yourself - literally -  yes. That's the way to go.

The stresses of the trip are, I'm sure, what brought the argument at its end. No doubt you and your husband both needed some time alone to regroup. His regrouping seems to mean tightening the mask on more firmly... and that's tough to take when you want to get down to the nitty gritty. I do hope you two will be able to reach a compromise on the method of tackling difficult issues... because that seems to be where the trouble begins. It's not even the issues themselves, so much as the style of approaching them, maybe.

Wish I had some great approaches to fix the problem, Pops... but this one, I think, was simply unfortunate timing?
Praying for wisdom and new insights for us all...

With love,
Carolyn

P.S.  Oh, I love the balsamic vinegar story... sounds like something I would do!    Just think... how brave you were to try this procedure... chemistry in the kitchen! -wink-   I'm sure the steaks were delicious!

[Poppy Seed]

Hi C,

I do hope you two will be able to reach a compromise on the method of tackling difficult issues... because that seems to be where the trouble begins. It's not even the issues themselves, so much as the style of approaching them, maybe.


It is funny you said this...he came home last night with a stack of books about dealing with conflict in marriage.    He must have felt the same vibe. So, we sat and looked thru them before bed with our arms around each other.    I let one of my buttons get pushed.......dang it!  My achilles heal!  Sometimes it is so hard for me to know how to communicate with someone who has never really known how and who is offended by looking at the probs in the first place.  I think my frustration factor got the best of me.  Today I feel more humble and apologetic and willing to act in more loving ways. The sun is coming up here.  The light is shining across the lake.  I can feel the warmth of the rays thru my window.  And I am grateful for another day with no mistakes in it and a chance to do better.

pops

[Certain Hope]

      Pops!   

I know.

Me, too.

My husband thinks he's dealt with all his stuff, too. heh. Dream on, buster... lol.

Hugs to you both... I think that is so cool he brought home books. So very, very cool. Thank God for cozy reading. 

Love,
Carolyn

[lighter]

Three things Poppy.

1)  So glad you navigated the social engagement with joy and the presense of mind that allowed you to NOT assume every negative thing was about you: )  YAY! YAY!

2)  Very very glad your darling husband came home with conflict resolution books and asked you to sit and study a bit with him..... he's invested.... it would appear.  Yay?  When he straightens out the deal with his FOO... he get's a YAY! YAY!.... until then...


3)  GIA RUSSA Balsamic Glaze.... from Italy.  Already reduced and yummy thick.  Just open the lid and pour: ) 

[Poppy Seed]

Lighter,

1)  Thanks!

2)  I can see we are slowly winning you over, eh?

3)  Oh fine!  Point out that there is an already made version AFTER I make a fool of myself.  HMPH!  Next time you are cooking!!

[lighter]

Listen.... there's also this marvelouse Fig and Lemon (I think) balsamic vinegar out there that you can order out of California.

I used to get it by the case, when I had time to think about nice things for myself and taking pleasure in food...mmmmm poured over fresh peaches or on salad or in a nice pork with fresh figs, during their season of course, dish..... I adore balsamic vinegar!

Now I eat to medicate myself, lol..... ::sigh:: Not really funny, come to think of it: /

And yes.... I did point it, the glaze, out AFTER the fact but.... you didn't ask about it till then now did you, lol?

Oh oh!  Have you ever had a balsamic sort of stock based spagetti sauce before??!?!?!  Ohhhh... I AM cooking next time.  I just love fall food and I'm in the mood now with all this balsamic talk; )

[Poppy Seed]

Throw me the recipe.  I love to try new stuff.  I am getting excited for fall cooking as well.  We got some snow yesterday and the temps dropped.  Time for chili and soup and homemade bread!!

[lighter]

Recipes recipes..... let's have a thread and exchange good fall recipes.

::going to start new thread::