Reframing and the power of words

[lighter]

That was so nice to read about your sister's e mail complimenting your hospitality.

You worried about it a bit then did your very best.... nice to hear positive feedback.

You surely deserve it. 

[isittoolate]

Thank you changing and lighter

It was very nice. My sister took this picture--can you see me in my car?----when I sent them up the last of the mountainside to reach the pavillion at the very top where they took more pictures of the city.

lighter, the part I worried about is that they would be shown a wheelchair person's way of life.... but it still worked out okay.

I am so happy, changing, that some of my escapades are of value to you. There will always be escapades. I cannot help the mischief in me! (Having the childhood I never had)

My new leg cast has a bigger bend at the knee for getting into the car, but haven't done that yet. I won't tell anyone when I begin to use the car and Linda can still bring my work to me. I will have to remain seated to put the chair and take it out and it is time consuming and not nearly as graceful as when I stand.  So for now, since Linda is at work, and just 3 blocks away, she can drop off.


Love to both
Izzy

Click to enlarge!

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[Ami]

Talking about the power of words( and thoughts),I am finding that as I heal, certain phrases that I used to say to myself are coming back in to my head. I gradually got sicker and sicker over time . I lost my mental health slowly. So, now as I gain it back,I am reclaiming the parts of me that used to be healthy .
  I always had a phrases in my mind about my M. It was ''Something is wrong with her. She is an idiot( a fool),but she loves me". I started  thinking this at a very young age. I would go to the mall with her( maybe 8-9). I would remember thinking this.
The other thought that I had ,which kept my sanity was,"I am nothing like her. I am smart.I can feel and tell about life. She is a fool
 I, as  alittle kid, tried to keep myself intact( and did to some degree ) with these phrases.Now, I am starting to get them kicking back in.They are true. They were always true.
                                                                           Love   Ami'
 

[Ami]

The other thing that I am starting to see ( from my inner child books) is that we have to change false beliefs( and  words) in order to thrive. I realized that i had a false belief about "happiness" in this life. I thought that if you had a good mother ( and other  advantages ) you would be happy. Now,I am seeing that people I know who had a good mother and other advantages still  have  painful false beliefs. My Book says that everyone 's inner child is damaged by parents whose own inner child was damaged.It is just the way that the world operates. The world has operated this way since   man chose "disobedience( as I see it).
  So ,anyone  you meet will have a wounded inner child--NOT JUST ME( what a revelation). ,I am immature b/c I stopped maturing at 14. THAT is what happened.
  So, I am seeing that I am part of the general humanity who battles "bad thoughts" about ourselves. We tend toward shame and guilt.Do you agree?
  I used to know this . I used to look around and see that other people were insecure and had shame and guilt.I thought that my sense of self better be inside me OR I was screwed.So, I put my sense of self within me-not in the outside ( codependent)
  I am getting back that wisdom again-- very slowly.
  I had isolated myself,emotionally.. I had convinced myself that I had it so bad that I could not really relate to other people. i did fall in to a deep hole,but as I face the truth about life and myself, I can climb out( and am climbing out).
   Yes,I am immature ,emotionally,but at least I have a place to heal ( the board) little by little where  people  will not laugh(only WITH me-hopefully)                           Love   Ami

[Hopalong]

Izz,
I'm really glad you got appreciation and kindness from your SIL. Maybe new encounters with them won't be anxious ones. You did great, and you are not a "wheelchair person". You're Izz, with a certain way of moving through the world. We all have some kind of chair, yours is just more visible, tangible. I hope you never feel apologetic again.

LIFE is inconvenient. We ALL are inconvenient...

And you're a treasure.

love
Hops

[isittoolate]

Thanks Hops,
We do take on the ideas of our parents. My mother in a wheelchair told me not to offer my home for family gatherings as it was a lot of work and no one would help. I was in my first-ever house, after a string of apartments. I had a double lot, so plenty of lawn, for the family re-union.

I never offered in case I upset Mom
Since I never offered I felt selfish.

Some people ought to just be quiet!!!!!!

I was just new to disability and then I began to doubt myself, as Mom held reunions, with Dad's help.

I have no worries about the sis and my bro who were out here, as, you see, that was actually MY FIRST time being a hostess for family!!!

WOW!! ain't that sumpin'? All these years gone by and a revelation like that shoots out this morning, from your post!

God Bless ya
Love Izzy