48, first I encourage you to reconsider your name for the board, to say "withnewfriends48" because that is what you will likely find here. You are not alone anymore. The people here will care about and wrap loving arms around you gently, walking with you every day of your life, if you want them to.
Your life has been so lonely, having no permanent friends or family to bond with, and I'm so sorry for you having that be your world. Your marriages were very understandable, 48. You grew up, not knowing how to recognize the difference between someone who loved you vs someone who used you...so it all felt the same to you, and you stayed in it, because it was familiar to you. Now, 48, please hear me...none of this was your fault, hon. None of it.
Your family started out dysfunctional. Your parents were addicts and did not give you the love and care you needed and deserved. That was not your fault. Your husbands were cruel to you and also couldn't give you the love you needed and deserved. Again, not your fault.
I'd like to encourage you to stick with this board and the people here on it. You will laugh, cry, learn, grow, and in time, you will feel confident to open up more and share your own pain and joy. Together, you will grow as you go in this place of healing, called the Voicelessness Board.
Welcome to your soon-found freedom, 48...it only gets better from here!
~Laura
