Has anyone here read or used the Enneagram?
It is a system of understanding our personalities. Each of us has a general "type," and there are unhealthy, average and healthy ranges. The system describes motivations and tendencies of each type and the thinking and behaviors at various ranges within each type. It also gives very practical ideas on how to become healthier.
Two of the types, if they become unhealthy, lead to NPD. I like this system because it does not focus on pathology, nor does it focus on diagnosing NPD or any other difficulties.
I will write a couple of sentences from the book about the types related to NPD and wait for reactions. Following are some descriptions of one type, that if left unchecked, can lead to NPD:
"They are the most self-aware of all of the types....they try to understand themselves by introspecting on their feelings....Because they have identified themselves with their feelings, they begin to look for intensity of feeling in all of their activities."
"They maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally different from others. They feel that they are unlike other human beings and, consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately....they secretly wish they could enjoy the easiness and confidence that others seem to enjoy." Also, they "typically have problems with low self-esteem....they compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self.....In the course of their lives, they may try several different identities on for size, but underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who they really are....One of the biggest challenges they face is learning to let go of feelings from the past.
When they are healthy, they "are honest with themselves and can look at their motives, contradictions and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them." As they become average, they "use their imaginations to prolong and intensify their moods," further down, they "feel they are missing out on life and envy the stability of others, so they exempt themselves from 'the rules.'"
At the unhealthy stages, they "feel that they are wasting their lives...to save their self-image, the reject everyone and everything that does not support their view of themselves....This results in depression, apathy and fatigue." "They may precipitate emotional scenes....Under stress they begin to exaggerate their importance in others' lives. They remind others of the many benefits that they have derived from their association with them, and they find little ways to increase people's dependency on them." Further down, "they realize that they have wasted their lives pursuing futile fantasies."
A very brief outline. This is only one of the two types, that when the life goes in a negative direction, can lead to NPD. This system DOES NOT focus on pathology or NPD, but many directions one can go in a healthy or pathological life, depending on one's overall personality style.
I find that this "system" can be helpful in understanding the process involved in becoming NPD: The underlying fears, needs, and motivations, as well as how this personality type goes through different stages, from healthy to sick.
