Intrusive Parents using Psychological Control

[sally]

Hi all,

I'm taking a break from the board, but I found this today & wanted to share it.

Here's the link:
http://family.jrank.org/pages/172/Boundary-Dissolution-Dimensions-Boundary-Dissolution.html

Here's the excerpt:

Intrusiveness.
Intrusiveness, also termed psychological control, is characterized by overly controlling and coercive parenting that intrudes into the child's thoughts and emotions and is not respectful of the autonomy of the child (Barber 1996).

Whereas enmeshment is characterized by a seamless equality ("we feel alike"), the intrusive relationship is a hierarchical one in which the parent attempts to direct the child's inner life ("you feel as I say").

Psychological control may be carried out in ways that are more subtle than overt behavioral control. Rather than telling the child directly what to do or think, the parent may use indirect hints and respond with guilt induction or withdrawal of love if the child refuses to comply.

In short, a psychologically controlling parent strives to manipulate the child's thoughts and feelings in such a way that the child's psyche will conform to the parent's wishes.

Longitudinal data show that infants of intrusive mothers later demonstrate problems in academic, social, behavioral, and emotional adjustment in first and second grades (Egeland, Pianta, and O'Brien 1993).

Psychological control also is predictive of anxiety and depression in children (see Barber 2002) and of delinquency, particularly in African-American youth (Walker-Barnes and Mason 2001).

[Poppy Seed]

Hey Sally,

I think my mother was an intrusive parent and my mil is both an intrusive and enmeshed parent. 

I suddenly wish I could live on a deserted island!!!

Thanks for the info!!!

[tayana]

Psychological control also is predictive of anxiety and depression in children (see Barber 2002) and of delinquency, particularly in African-American youth

That line is very true . . . I told my doctor I think I've been depressed all my life.

My mother is an intrusive parent, and my family is horribly enmeshed.

[Overcomer]

My mom is both.  It is like this sticky goo that you cannot rub off-no matter how hard you try it will not leave!  And if you manage to get away-it is like a nightmare where you run and run and cannot get away from your attacker!

[axa]

N's just want to control, you are nothing other than an extension of them, how dare you feel/think/want anything other than what they want for you.

Don't I know it.

axa

[cats paw]

Sally,

  Thanks for the link, and I hope you have a good break.

cats paw