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Newbie Seeking Advice About Stepdaughter's Mother

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Jaded911:
Hi red,

First of all let me begin by stating that I am not a child expert, however I do have children of my own.  I can say this for certain, any child that is involved in either emotional or physical abuse at home, they are scared, feel alone, and they are so very confused.  They want to be loved by these abusers more then anything else in the world.  They seek acceptance more so than a child in a healthy emotional environment.  I strongly feel that if you even remotely approach this child with this information, it will turn around and bite you and your husband right square in the ars.  I personally would spend any amount of money to take this little girl to a professional.  Let them be the judge and messenger for this situation.  You could seek out someone who knows what to look for and I might also add that this professional wouldn't have all of the emotions you and your husband have because of the X situation.  They would know the right questions to ask to probe into this.

I am afraid that if you delivered this information to this little girl, you might not handle it in a way that would be to her benefit.  Nothing against you and your husband when I say that.  I just know that when I began to learn what NPD was, I was so overwhelmed that I couldnt think straight.  I cant imagine being a 10 yr old and having to comprehend all of this chit that NPD brings into your life.  Another thought is that you have to think like a 10 yr old child here.  What would you think if you were in her shoes.  I would think, man I love my mom, why are they trying to make me hate her?

All you have to do is to look into that childs eyes to see how confusing all of this is to her.  When you look into her eyes and you see nothing but a blank stare looking back at ya, you know for sure that a N has clouded her hopes and dreams with their poison.  

I just dont think I would cut my own nose off here to spite my face.  I would let a professional deal with this very complicated information.  I couldnt grasp it all as an adult, to a child, wowzie, I cant imagine.

Best wishes!!

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