muddling through

[alone48]

Well, it's been almost four weeks and no contact with N, sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall but I'm leaving it alone. I have been at my new job for two weeks now and just kind of numb. Grateful to have a job, but angry at all i've been through and allowed the havoc of N. Tommorrow is my birthday and I have no expectations, just hoping to get through to the next day. Sorry this sounds so pitiful but I guess that's how I feel about now, though I also am upset that I don't have enough sense to appreciate the good things in my life. I still have my family and friends, health, and finally an income income. What is so wrong with me  that I can't appreciate that?

[gratitude28]

alone,
You are still in shock and it takes a while for the numbeness to subside. You are doing all the right things and I think you will begin to feel some happiness soon. It won't happen all at once. It will be gradual and you may not even notice the changes until one day you realize you feel pretty good. So keep doing the right things and try to be patient - I know it is hard.
Love, Beth

[Hopalong]

Dear Alone,
You're not alone, hon.

Go outside and stare at the stars and just assign them love and hope.
Love and hope, shining there for you.

Because I can't stay awake until midnight,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dear.

Find a small moment and just be grateful as you can...
it's hard to do when things have been such a painful slog.

But look, anyway. It might be the sight of a crimson leaf,
an animal's grace, a child absorbed in thought...

It's all a gift for you.

With lots of love, birthdays MATTER!
Please hold a good vision of your next year.

Hops

[vita]

Happy Birthday!!

Please do something nice for yourself.  You deserve it and you are worth it.

[changing]

Dear A48-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It truly is a new day for you. A new life, free of N abuse, free to love, work, and create your world! And congratulations on your job! A48 you are now Awesome48! Enjoy!

Love,

Changing

[lighter]

Happy Birthday 48. 

I'd like to make a suggestion.... give yourself a better siggy name here, as a gift.

Alone48 isn't what you're about now..... you're going to get stronger and grow beyond this sad void.  It will end.

Why not start with a positive note and mindfully choose a name that reminds you of where you want to be?

Also, do something nice for yourself today..... whether it's window shop or read or walk in this beautiful fall weather we've been having?  It's the start of feeling better sometimes and......

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!

[Ami]

Happy Birthday--- Alone. You found us-- the board. You will have company and good friends. the board was the best present that I could get.
 In one year, I have gotten so many gifts. I am finding my 'core" now. that is the best gift-- finding ourselves --after we had to give us away--- for such a long time.
  Love to You on your Birthday                   Ami


(((((((((((((  (Not)(Alone)))))))))))))))))

[Poppy Seed]

Hello, my dear!  Happy Happy Birthday!  Let's not forget what a monumental birthday this is!  It is a marker of all you have accomplished and all the gold that is in you today.  There is much to celebrate.

I agree that you are probably in shock .......  and maybe you need a little time to mourn you losses.  In that space and with that space that you surly need to pass through, I hope you find place to celebrate yourself and your strides.  And if you can't........picture me and Lighter and Ami and Changing and the rest of you favorite boardmembers raising our glasses to you and singing you an inspirational and slightly off key rendition of "Its your Birthday, Shout Hooray!"  followed by a giant cake on wheels with Poppyseed sitting on top holding a sparkler!! doing it for you!

CHEERS!

[Leah]

"Happy Birthday to YOU"

Love & Hugs,

Leah