Author Topic: Sharing custody with N ex - what a nightmare!  (Read 969 times)

Atticus

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Sharing custody with N ex - what a nightmare!
« on: November 09, 2007, 02:22:27 PM »
Does anyone ever REALLY divorce a narcissist?  Yes, I have been legally divorced from my NH for almost two years.  However, because we have two daughers (ages 11 and 7), he still constantly torments me (or tries to) through them.  I try just giving in, not arguing, and avoiding confrontation and even verbal communication with him at all costs.  But like any n, the more I give, the more he takes... which forces me into yet another confrontation in which I want to pull out every hair in my head!  I think I have read every book out there on narcissism, and yet it still astounds me how these people have no remorse, no compassion, no empathy etc.  How do the rest of you who have to share custody (the legal system in this matter is a huge frustration in itself!!!) with their ex nh handle the madness they create (or try to create) on nearly a daily basis????   Help!!!!

Atti
P.S. New to the site and not sure I'm using all the abbreviations correctly yet??!!!

Ami

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Re: Sharing custody with N ex - what a nightmare!
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2007, 03:19:29 PM »
Dear Atticus,
  I cannot answer specifics b/c I have not had that particular experience. I bet that the fall-out from divorce with an N is as bad as "staying ' with an N.(which I did--bleh) It is  bad all around----isn't it.
  I know that many people here can help you. I am glad that you found us.           Love   Ami


(((((((((((Atticus))))))))))))))))))
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

lighter

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Re: Sharing custody with N ex - what a nightmare!
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2007, 02:14:23 PM »
I hope you wrote out a very intense visitation schedule, covering all the bases?

The silly things they expect you to sign, every other weekend and an afternoon during the week is just a lazy form most people go for bc their attorney's want things over with quickly.... without having to think about it.

I'm disheartened to hear that he still has the same intensity, with regard to torturing you with the children, as he did when the divorce was fresh.

Has he been dating or found someone else to play with yet?

What kinds of things is he jerking you around over?

Is he turning the kids against you?

Showing up late or not showing up at all.... not bringing them back on time?

Trying to bribe them into living with him?

Filling their heads with irrational innpapropriate information that may or not be true?

Jerking you around with money?

What would you have done differently had you seen this coming?

DID you see all this coming and was there nothing you could do about it?

Did your attorney talk you into a substandard visitation schedule that doesn't protect you or the children?

Do you think you'll have to go back into court to stop the harassment?

Do you think you'll be able to stop the harassment....ever?

If so, how?