Ami, I have noticed that when I feel depressed, I want to spend money. I won't call it an addiction, just a lack of impulse control. When I feel depressed, that's when I make impulse buys. That's when I go buy things I don't need or won't use. I buy clothes that hang in my closet with the tags, and then later on I wonder what I was thinking. I would do it to make myself feel better. I'd decide that I deserved a treat, and so I'd make a purchase that I didn't really want or need. Spending the money never made me feel better. Usually it made me feel worse, and then I'd just continue on a downward spiral. I've noticed with relief of my symptoms that some of these urges have gone away. I can go into a store and buy exactly what I went to buy, on my budget without a problem.
Hops, yes I'm probably perfectionistic about having to write all the time. when I have an upswing of productivity it makes me feel good, you know. Th eproblem has been though that I have the upswing of productivity, but then I just keep producing. I don't stop to perfect anything to submit. It sort of defeats the purpose. So I finally had to stop and rework a piece to submit. For a long time, writing was my escape. I could lose myself in the story, and I would just sit and crank out the words. That was all I wanted to do. It was scary, and I did recognize what I was doing. I managed to write quite a lot yesterday, although I didn't feel that good about what I'd done. That's why I told the doctor I wanted a few more weeks with the meds. It might just be that I don't know what to do now that I feel better.
Bella, I resisted doing this for a long time because I was afraid of what would happen. I'd heard mixed stories, but the side effects aren't too terrible. I get really tired with it, but other than that and the issue with my writing, it's good to feel this good. I'm not irritable. I'm not panicking. I'm not anxious, well, a little. I just feel normal. I don't want to be on the meds forever, that's why I still go to the T, but it's been an enormous help.
CB, I had the option of switching meds, but I'm going to stick with this one until my next appointment. If I still have problems, then I'll switch it. I'm already taking the lowest dosage. Exercise helps me too. I've lost quite a lot of weight just walking my dog. I've never looked at the Artist's Way. I might have to check that out. I love your image of land lying fallow. Maybe the right idea hasn't hit me yet.
Kate, my play story is about a young man who was abducted and rescued. He suffered rather badly with his abductor, and he's dealing with those issues. He's also dealing with issues of sexuality, and once his family learns he's gay, they turn away from him. It's mostly little vignettes about his recovery and learning how to keep his life moving forward in spite of what's happened to him. It's been a very therapeutic book to write, even if it has no plot. Like I said, it's my play piece, although I think some of the scenes might find their way into a different book eventually. This one is a spin off of a series I started, a series of thrillers where my main character becomes a sort of amateur detective. It was a real departure from what I normally write, but I really had fun with it. I swear these books and this cast of characters helped get me out of my parents house.
