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why would Ns have 8 kids?

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mighty mouse:
I have always wondered why my parents decided to have 8 kids. There is no religious pretext for them to have that many kids. It just baffles me...they married at very tender ages (as people of that generation were wont to do), but they didn't start having kids until 21 and 22.

The reason I query about this is that we always seemed to be bugging them or inconvenient. My Nmom used to say to us "you kids are doing that just to bug me". Like we were evil little things that planned our day around messing up hers.

However, we were always tripped out like the Von Trapp kids - all groomed, ironed and in a line when we went out (like to church). I guess that made them feel good. Also my Mom loves to brag about how good they were at doing everything....my Dad built an addition onto the house all by himself and it only took two weeks (whilst she compares Dad to my younger brother who is taking too long to build his addition - my bro actually spends time with his kids). It always feels like a competition with her and Dad (since passed but now cannonized by my mother who couldn't say a nice thing about him while he lived).

I guess most Ns don't have 8 kids, but is this somehow a way of bragging or showing off to the world in some sick way?

Mighty Mouse

might mouse:
My Mom said something to me one day about 16 years ago that might be instructive.

My sibs and I were joking about a luncheon meat that we hated getting in our lunches when we were in school. My Mom came up and whispered in my ear "you will never have kids because you are too selfish". This occured a month after my first miscarriage and I was stunned to say the least. I actually let that go without challenging it!

From reading the threads it seems like there are some themes about NMoms needing to feel very superior (I call my own "Mother Superior").

MM

eliza:
Gosh, I'm new to this board, but I just got done watching the remake of A Lion in Winter. Now I think that was the ultimate N family!!!!!

Some of the things those parents said to the "children" were horrible.

Sorry to hear of your Mom saying such a cruel thing to you MM.

Eliza

Anonymous:
mm,

I have four siblings and I have wondered the same thing. Why did my parents keep having all these kids -- since they appeared annoyed and burdened by us? And I don't think we were accidents. Here's my theory: My mother preferred a tiny baby who was totally helpless, under her control, who couldn't yet talk. When the baby became more independent with its own will, she was disappointed/angry and then wanted another infant. I've seen her with infants and with toddlers and she actually feels "hurt" by the toddlers' independence.

bunny

surf14:
Hi MM;

I have so often asked myself that question.  My parents so badly didn't want to have the last baby that they made sure to let my sister know often that she wasn' wanted and was an imposition and a burden.  After being raised in the very unhappy and miserable home I was raised in I always say I think having children should be a state sponsored priviledge, not a right, in which parents are thoroughly screened for thier abiltiy to nurture and raise kids responsibly. I know this sounds a bit extreme but there are so may people out there having children thoughtlessly and irresponsibly that its an idea.  Again,  having children should be a priviledge not a right.   Surf

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