For a girl child... she rejects whatever it consideres is menacing in her dad I suppose ( thankfully it doesnt invove her gender ).. but for a guy he even rejects being a man to win his mom's love.. he questions his masculinity cos he can't win a woman PLUS he is losing out to another man !!!!!( in a battle that was fought for the sake of that Bitch..whom he/she sadly never realises shall never be won ) ......
I guess y gender was threatening to my mom and my dad. I am a female to male transgender.
My mom was always wanting and trying to get me to wear girly clothes and I felt like a clown when I did wear them, I hate bras but I wear them because I hate my boobs and a bra that binds makes them smaller.But until I realized the right sort of bra could do that,Mom forced me to wear the damn things and I didn't start wearing a bra until I noticed males oogling and understood that was threatening.When I faced attempted rapes because of these damn ugly udders,overgrown sweat glands because of self absorbed stupid males who would not accept I didn't want sex I wore a frickin bra and I bound the stupid tumors down. I developed early,and It was traumatic.
By time I was in 6th grade I wore only boys clothes because I could not stand the changes in my body.and I would sneak off to the boys dept and get clothes there as mom picked out her silly girl shit,and I woukld try on both her stuff and the stuff I liked and reject all the feminine clothes as "not fitting me".
My father always was calling me an oaf (I have big shoulders and I am tall and strong I look manly in my frame) and would tell me "be a girl",yet everyday after facing a horde of bullies at school,on the bus I came home after that beating and humiliation scene there I faced everyday to get my father's daily drunken lecture on my weakness,supidity and failures to stand up to a horde of bullies both boys and girls that the teachers and bus drivers failed to control. I was different and I paid for it on both ends.
Just writing this brings tinges of suicidalness.
The saddest part is the hoops our ignorant control freak male dominated culture forces transpeople to go through to get transgender surgery that can bring peace by removing the wrong gender charactaristics so they can heal without being threatened by the body. Sometims you gotta do something others would not do to find who you are and to understand how to be safe enough to understand happiness. I want these boobs gone,I hate them they are not me,they are burdens everywhere I go. They are dangerous and horribly uncomfortable and they are ghastly to me.They are 2 prison bars, that I do not want,need or use.Just because my gender biologically forces me to have these boobs,does not mean I MUST accept them as parts of me. Genetics also can cause cancer and no one tells a person with a tumor to get in touch with the cancer side of themselves and accept it as part of who they are just because thier DNA has trouble telling cells to stop growing..
I was happy when the uterus was removed from me,I know I will NEVER become a mother,and this brings me alot of happiness, I am thankful I do not bleed anymore and I never will again.
Men, you are not cursed with horrible boobs and nasty bloodbags and a vagina that can produce babies even when you don't want one. You don't get oogled at like a slab of bacon,(however this is beginning to change) you don't get told to wear dresses that make you vunerable in a lot of ways if men take advantage.But you are told to stuff emotions and be strong..
Looks like I got the worst of both gender worlds I have this hidious female body but I gotta be strong too. What a crock.
For me I say to hell with it all,
I'm a feline inside ,both and neither gender.I am bi/asexual.Inside I say to hell with liking one kind of person over another, sex,gender and humanity and all the stupid "roles" and games of make believe that people inflict upon one another that does nothing but make emotions into monsters that consume children and make them into copies of thier chickenshit parents and replicates our sick culture for another generation...
