Perhaps if he EVER said, what a good job you're doing and how much I appreciate your being here for Mom...I could accept other questions/interrogations/surprise "inspection" visits more easily.
Hops I understand completely, as I was a caregiver also I remember the pain of being picked apart, not appreciated ( I didn't want glory just given a bit of human dignity. kwim?)
Mom is very well taken care of
Yes, because of you. oxox
((Can I extend a human voice of acknowledgement for all you are and have given. Thank you Hops for taking care of Mom.))
I'm so sorry your privacy was so violated. My heart really feels for the pain you must of felt/feeling.
My Nbully brother is a menacing figure to me (he had invaded my computer and lied to me a year or two ago, so I'm always on guard when he's around, though we've "made peace" on the surface). After he was here I slept badly and had one significant nightmare in which he'd walked into my bathroom, bold as brass, and cut a hole in the wall to install some sort of electronic device that would allow him to read every keystroke I made on my laptop when I was relaxing on the other side of the wall on my bed!!! Fitting. (Nasty feeling of violation, his entitlement...)
Yuck, as much as I miss my parents I am free of my Big Bully Brother. Sometimes I wonder why I am completely off his radar now I remember all that he brings after reading your reply, thank you for that.
Hops, I am so proud of the way you handled yourself with his unexpected visit. Rude, no excuse and his words were all filled with BS~ you saw that, new better and did not cave. He should call you. I hope he follows through I heard you very clearly on that subject. You deserve at least that my friend.
Again BS. I stuck to my request and he finally said, okay, I promise I'll call first.
Way to go Hops

When he comes I'm so uneasy I take a totebag of papers to my car and hide or take away my laptop. I don't think I'll ever fully trust him again.
That sounds like a great plan to be safe and protected. Hops can protect herself and does so wisely.

You have such a great balance. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story. I take away so much, with a grateful heart.
Sweet Dreams Hops~ love seasons