Great Lines About Lying

[seasons]

 

Perhaps if he EVER said, what a good job you're doing and how much I appreciate your being here for Mom...I could accept other questions/interrogations/surprise "inspection" visits more easily.

Hops I understand completely, as I was a caregiver also I remember the pain of being picked apart, not appreciated ( I didn't want glory just given a bit of human dignity. kwim?)

Mom is very well taken care of

Yes, because of you. oxox
((Can I extend a human voice of acknowledgement for all you are and have given. Thank you Hops for taking care of Mom.))

I'm so sorry your privacy was so violated. My heart really feels for the pain you must of felt/feeling.

My Nbully brother is a menacing figure to me (he had invaded my computer and lied to me a year or two ago, so I'm always on guard when he's around, though we've "made peace" on the surface). After he was here I slept badly and had one significant nightmare in which he'd walked into my bathroom, bold as brass, and cut a hole in the wall to install some sort of electronic device that would allow him to read every keystroke I made on my laptop when I was relaxing on the other side of the wall on my bed!!! Fitting. (Nasty feeling of violation, his entitlement...)

Yuck, as much as I miss my parents I am free of my Big Bully Brother. Sometimes I wonder why I am completely off his radar now I remember all that he brings after reading your reply, thank you for that.

Hops, I am so proud of the way you handled yourself with his unexpected visit. Rude, no excuse and his words were all filled with BS~ you saw that, new better and did not cave. He should call you. I hope he follows through I heard you very clearly on that subject. You deserve at least that my friend.

Again BS. I stuck to my request and he finally said, okay, I promise I'll call first.

Way to go Hops

When he comes I'm so uneasy I take a totebag of papers to my car and hide or take away my laptop. I don't think I'll ever fully trust him again.

That sounds like a great plan to be safe and protected. Hops can protect herself and does so wisely.


You have such a great balance. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story. I take away so much, with a grateful heart.

Sweet Dreams Hops~ love seasons

[Hopalong]

Thank you, ((((((((((((((((Seasons))))))))))))))))

I got an email from him today acknowledging that "perfection is a destination, not a marker" or something.
I re-read what I'd sent him and it wasn't really snarky at all.

He acknowledged that he'd called Mom and Dorothy and they both were pleased with the party.

(My family always plays the "I guess it's true because someone ELSE said so" thing -- he learned that from Mom.)

I frankly don't care if he's grateful or not. But overt INgratitude in my face plus space invasion I won't accept.

Ah well. I think he's going to be a while before he appears again, so I'll let it go for now.
The dream amazed me.

love
Hops

[Leah]

Your sister is a piece of work. I think out-classing that sort of stuff is the only way to go. And never let their gibes paralyse your voice. So if someone says something sarcastic, just a sincere (dredge it up from somewhere) Well, this is a beautiful day, and Happy Thanksgiving! leaves the stupidity in the lap of the taunter/s. All day long, whether someone's snide or mocking or whatever, you could just enact your policy--no reponse at all to negatives, and a pleasant remark when you feel like making one.

Dear Hops,

Thank you, I am taking on board your wise advice, and shall put it into practice, with one scenario in particular.

Once a month, without fail, an unavoidable interaction with a lady, who will floor me, maybe just one sentence, and throw me off balance, leaving, my tummy is all of a flutter, as I drive away home.

Love, Leah

[axa]

HI Hops and all,

Hope you all are doing well.  Not on here as often as I would like but very busy reading and writing papers.

Yep, the lying thing.  For me there can be no more trust after that.  I have had my share of N liars and know how crazymaking that sort of stuff is.  Thankfully I am wellout of it at this stage.  For me when trust is broken it is the end.  I too decided that alone was better than smart assed clever N and it is.  Still not in a place where I would consider dating but happy being alone. 

Just dip in and out now and then but often think of you all.  Coming up to my 1st anniversary of being Nfree........whew!

take care

axa

[Leah]

Hello Axa,

Congratulations on your 1st Anniversary!   

Wishing you every happiness on the road ahead.

Love, Leah

[Hopalong]

Oh Axa...good to hear you.

And that's something -- your anniversary of freedom -- to TRULY feel deep thanksgiving about.

Please dip in again when you can.

I miss you.

No lie.

Hops

[Lupita]

I have been seventeen 17 diecisiete years alone. Only dated four or five guys in all this time. All of them were Ns. Never more than four or five dates.

Talking about sisters I have not seen my sister in eleven years. My brother in four years. I see my mother once a year. I am planning not to see her next year.

I really miss not having a family, but I do not miss my family.

[Leah]

I really miss not having a family, but I do not miss my family.

Me too, Lupita

Love,
Leah

[changing]

Hoppy-

A prophet in her own land is... invaded by Ns!!!!OOOH, of all people, you should be treated with decency and decorum, even reverence. Your brand of thought and action is sorely needed on this planet. ((((( Dear Hoppy)))))

Start getting copies of all papers and such together regarding your future coexecutor duties- I suspect B is doing that now. Get a game plan toether now, so you won't be blindsided by grief. Get some free consultations from probate lawyers now - you don't want to do this during the grief process. Find a lawyer you like, and become extremely informed, Hoppy. Read everything in the library and web on the subject I know that you know this, and are most likely doing this already, but consider this a gentle nudge!!!! B is telling you with his relatively mild (compared to later) violations what you will be in for. Be forewarned and forearmed!!!! Then he won't know what hit him, and will have to behave!!!

Love and Happy Thanksgiving to our Wise Woman from a Very Grateful Changing

[Hopalong]

Thanks for noticing that, Changing.
I have my mother's will, my POA and Durable Medical POA for her, and her accounts (there's little cash).
I know what she owes. $9K on an overpaid pension, and the mortgage, which I'll assume.

There are 2 small investment accts (one for my brother DOD, one in her name and mine), one short list of a few sentimental things and which of us she would like to have them.

That's it.
All I worry about is any challenge to my ownership of the house, which she is leaving to me. It seems straightforward in her will.
My brother gets the contents (except for the piano and her ring). So we'll need to have an estate sale. It's not elaborate. Furnishings, a few pieces of art, silver and china, books. That's about it. But that's his share and I want to be sure he gets it.

If you know of any particular list or workbook for upcoming Co-Executorship, let me know AT YOUR LEISURE.

love and thanks,
Hops

[Leah]

Interesting, that this thread topic should crop up today, after reflecting upon today's postal mail - or lack of.

Last week, on my birthday, my father phones me, during the evening, to say that he had forgotten all about my birthday, followed by, "I thought you were born in December"

then,

"leave it with me, I will sort something out"

Next evening,

He phones and says, "Sorry I forgot your birthday, but don't worry, I will post you a card next week" 

Today, Monday morning, no card arrived in the post.

Wonder what tomorrow will bring???

Wonder as to which day of next week he had planned???

Wonder .... Lie or Game ???

Love, Leah

  well here we are, it's Friday, at the end of his "next week"

the post has been delivered ...... still no sign of a card!

no surprise, because, I know the Game.

Thankful, that I can smile about it.

Love, Leah