Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voluntary Simplicity stuff

<< < (8/12) > >>

Hopalong:
Thanks, Tupp.


--- Quote ---Have you picked up any little tips or methods over the years that have helped or does it remain a big question mark problem?
I've learned all the pragmatic + ADD tips in the books--don't need methods or tips; in fact when people respond with those it makes me feel worse. The problem is only my psychological resistance, anxiety and perfectionism and laziness and avoidance and fear of failure and self sabotage. Near-phobic territory at times, other times I just make my peace with it. I'm working on it with my T.

I'm remembering you saying about doing the 'child at play' thing when the MulitMix exploded - does that help with clutter or is it only good for kitchen spills?
My T asked me if I could just access that amazing energy/mood again. I'm sitting with the question. I think I'll find a way to let it out again, just don't know when. 

I mentioned something about my frustration over it to M the other day, and he came up with the delightful idea that he would set up a chart with my tasks to do and monitor it for me. He had started to ask me now and then, did you do this? Did you finish that? I hope he was joking, but told him I didn't want to answer any more questions and didn't want him ever to in any way remotely try to coach or supervise or instruct me about it. "You're not my daddy" was my killer phrase. I shut him down with a thud but the idea that he would leap to do that--and being so highly executive he would--horrified me so much about being controlled that I didn't feel like talking to him the rest of the day. No fight or anything, but oy...

I'll sit in my own mess until I figure out how to clear it up. It's a direct barometer of peace and growth in other areas.

Would writing about it inspire you to do it more or is it just beyond inspiration?
Writing about it is off limits because I want to reserve my writing energy for creative writing, not for self-therapy. That's sacred space. But I'll write here about it for sure.
--- End quote ---

Thanks for the kind support, Tupp. I know the Amazons would make short work of it all, and my T (gave her a Zoom tour) said it's not as bad as I depict. Hmm.

hugs
Hops

Hopalong:
Thanks, (((((CB))))). I know, Izzy. One of the bravest humans I've ever known. :(

My usual M-Day practice is to do everything BUT reminisce. Avoiding it and being gentle with myself and distracting all I like works fine. Not depressed, but aware it's a fragile day so I am just handling with care.

Much thanks,
Hops

Hopalong:
Simple pleasures PLUS bunny visits?
Ohhh that sounds sweet, CB.
I'm so glad you're enjoying it all.

My simplicity on Mothers' Day is more about not
rocking my emotional boat by thinking about my D or
feeling that hurt. If I scheduled things with others
I'd feel it impossible to avoid all the chatter about children
and families and how happy most of the mothers feel.

It's gotten a lot better, eight years on. But I do treat it
as a day best spent alone, and with distractions, just to
stay as numb as I can. It worked fairly well. I had several
friends call with the kindest intentions, but found I was okay
just saying to them, "This is a still, meditative day for me"
and then turning the subject back to them. I'm touched that
several think of me and my D situation on this day, and also
grateful they don't press me to talk about it.

Otherwise, I'm failing mightily at the moment to accomplish
much of anything. I think it will pass...hurting my knee so
badly encouraged my cowardly just-give-up reflex. So the
battle is on!

I like your examples of one thing at a time, and not a grandiose
project list. Even making a list is too daunting for me right now!

Big hugs
Hops

Hopalong:
Sounds like you're already half-Kondoed, CB!
I'm happy for you.

Purging IS slow and you're doing it, facing it.

Awesome.

hugs
Hops

Hopalong:
I watched her Netflix special, which I found actually moving. I need to watch it again. She's not fully my cuppa tea, but the process is oddly deep and touching for many participants.

I did purge my clothes well, and at least sort of half-fold everything in my dresser according to her method. I now roll my socks and stand the rolls sideways in a shoebox top in my drawer. I added a basket for underwear. It did make the dresser a lot easier to use.

BUT. I have an enormous paralysis going on. Been there before and the toll it takes on my confidence is huge. I have a TERRIBLE time...this is so strange to admit...getting off my ass and going outside to plant flowers in planters and some seeds out front. Part of it was that I was in pain for weeks after the knee crack, okay. But I'm better enough that I should be outside and at least do something. I buy seedlings and then don't water them, in the past I've even let them die.

I think projects freak me out for some reason and I have some old tape about domestic functioning that is drowning out my efforts to kindly get myself in gear.

I did hire a friend's son to come help me with weeding this weekend. That will help a bit. But overall there's something really plugging me up with taking care of my own needs, at home. Some big block that's about losing steam, letting go, giving up. Just for me things...don't call me the way they used to.

Anyway, I'm talking about it in therapy and hope to god that helps. She's empathetic but almost too perky about it and I hope I don't stay stuck.

hugs
Hops
PS It could be how I manifest depression, I am not sure.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page