Author Topic: A poem (a bit long)  (Read 1855 times)

Feline

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A poem (a bit long)
« on: June 09, 2004, 11:33:40 AM »
Damn Nation


When a caged Panther cries,crimson spots appear upon the floor.
They show her stigmata, invisible contamination inside  a realization of a soul abused .
I did not deserve this wounding.

 Suddenly heaven is burning down, like a wildfire..Because the LORD is upset,he bellows threats and points his weapons at me.
The fire within me  touches him, and he falls silent in screaming understanding.recoiling with the horror at his own image.The mirror will not stop reflecting what  he is,accusing him of what he has done.I contact,connect,eyes charging into him,flashing . So now he has no place to hide.Bully gods lose control when I can speak their secrets.

I am responsible for all these shapes my thoughts create through my willful actions.
I must be...

I must not fear being judged inhuman,by the destroyers, those ashamed,arrogant ones who fear  true power generated from within because it will expose thier  sickness of heart  to thier own eyes...
There is no more room for LORDS in my house.

I am  Undergound Panther in the Sky,I will not make a hypocrite of myself in front of the world to save a face I should have thrown away myself so long ago.
No more strangling into silence, words that must come out,because of who they might offend.
My tears of fire will speak for me,even when I am afraid to say..I will not be subjugated anymore.

The parent imposes his will upon the child..Parents who can't see themselves spead  poison . Sick parents spread themselves into the future, like parasites upon their children's hearts.
Father,how can you hear your own consience, when the choir is singing your praises so loudly?
Oh,put on those rose colored glasses and blind yourself so you might avoid  falling upon the shards of the broken hearts of your children. The pain is there testifying what you do in spite of your denials.

When my scars bleed thier secrets to you,
Please Don't turn away from me trembling, going into fantasies of  perfection
just to save yourself from witnessing to your own pain in my eyes.

DOMINATION slaps the little faces blue to save the face of the father,
DOMINATION humiliates tenderhearted ones so they grow thick skins,and feel nothing  in the name of the Son,ofthe Lord
DOMINATION scars the bodies of unloved ones, into distortions of self-loathing, Love  becomes denial in the name of  the Lord  
DOMINATION burns away the hope for the future from us In the name of some heaven that cannot be if it is imposed by force.
DOMINATION are the rationalizations of the sins of the fathers abuses rushing out like a sickness from the sputtering mouths of arrogant self-deluded saints,who claim they can do no evil as they DO evil unto you.

Survival was had by not remembering how my soul got shattered apart.
What my memory has  forgotten is still written in my flesh .
Red screaming rivulets  get  remembered in white scars .
Messages of emotions overwhemed pain within our mind
I'm healing from saving myself...from someone else's torment..I never wanted to have.

I remember when the moon turned red and stars fell from the sky,spinning dark..and how this bowl of poison was forced in,on the tip of a blade,swallowed to the sound of shrill trumpets.The dust motes frozen in the sunbeam shining in the dungeon window saw this. I remember the betrayals of trust were like swords in the hands of beasts,run through me again and again,when the door was shut. Closed to conceal the unearthly sounds that a little soul shattering apart makes
Hiding  truth from anyone who might have courage  enough to interfere with private armegeddons?

In the name of HUMANITY and the UNIVERSE and ALL living things
I Damn you Lord to oblivion!  I damn knowing what you have  done to me save your your own face.Twisted hell in the guise of heaven comes in all shapes ,to violate innocent trust.
Survival was once forgetting what was felt,to forget who we were, to forget what we can do
with our own will . Living under dominantion requires forgetting when we walked so small in the house of the Lord.

Why do I honor this father? Why do I still speak well of tyrants while they hurt me?
Why do I want to go on pretending, that they knew not what they did.When we all DO know what the father did.
Is it such a sin to be making a hypocrite of the Lord in front of the world,in front of thier freinds and foes,role models and fans..by simply using my voice and  being true to myself?
Why do Lords fear my remembering,my becoming?

Is it because for us to remember is to understand exactly why they closed the door to muffle the noise of our soul escaping the body as it was broken...


I want to feel my own heartbeat.
I want to remember my truth.
I want to dance in my own spiral...And Know..
Acceptance,compassion ,courage and love.

Rememberance is destroying lords and masters,I go  breaching the old walls of  denial that are his fortress.Boldly I take back my crown.. To still the verbal abuse on auto play ripping holes in my heart.. I seek all the festering cysts of denial to explode, release thier toxins and truths  into words so the healing can start..And  finally that stigmata that the Lord burned into my soul can finally heal and bleed no more .

When human beings are not allowed to be who they are it is a SIN against them.
Heaven itself has committed crimes against my spirit .I desired to lie down with death because I feared evil .Evil put his foot upon my childhood heart to crush it. And they did not prevail!
I cast down the Lord in this house the Lord hath made,to hell it hath made for me that can no longer hold me. I know the angels who would be Lords  will still scream Oh,it's not thier responsibility. They will blithely turn thier heads, away like Pilate  and  this time I don't care.

I am becoming.
A purring ,electric lighting fantastic cat,
pausing as rainbows come to dance with my wings,on my way to the stars,.
My horns shine like swords on my tounge perceptions are sharpened by trials I faced and won when I was living  underground..

I finally understand why those cruel shackles that scaped me raw really do fit best on the ankles of thier creators,than they ever did on me.So they can have them back.I have no more want of torture devices.
I hold open my heart fearlessly,my power is my voice.
 My truth sweetly flows from my scarred glittery lips ..And I am singing..Fly with me,my heart's wings are strong.


Underground Panther in the Sky

Less

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A poem (a bit long)
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2004, 09:16:44 PM »
Feline - I am just speechless having read your poem - your immense suffering, your struggle and your escape -

You surely are the most courageous "electric lightning fantastic cat." May those "strong heart wings" just keep getting stronger and stronger.
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Feline

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Thanks..
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2004, 02:06:11 AM »
They say less is more and to me,you are the most.
thank you.
Purrs,
Feline

Karin guest

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A poem (a bit long)
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2004, 02:46:17 AM »
Feline,
I don't know what to say. I also feel the immense suffering, anger and struggle in your words.
But I also see that Panther, the one with the bright, vigilant, inquisitive eyes that see everything. I see your muscles rippling along your sleek, glossy back and your tail tip flicking with excitement.
Keep purring, but don't be afraid to use your claws to protect yourself.
Karin.